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Mother's Day Club

Mother's Day has always been a tough one for me to stomach. I lost my mom when I was 18. If you have any great mom memories, please feel free to share!

Here's just a few short ones

Sweeping the backyard so we could ice skate and play hockey with brooms
Pulling me out of school to take me to skiing
Making me toast when I was sick

I wish this post stopped right here, but there's another side to this story.

We lost her when I was young. The years leading up to her death were especially rough. Everyone goes through it to some degree, but I put my folks through hell. They were over protective Irish Catholics and I was a hippie punk who would disappear for days at a time with my druggie friends. It put us at odds for years and it was a particularly strained relationship with lots of fights and a lot of things I wish I never said.

I was living in the dorms in my second semester when I found out. A binge drinking college freshman doesn't understand the gravity of late stage cancer. By this time, we were on much better terms, but that didnt change the fact that 75 days later, we lost her.

Apologizing to your crying mom in a hospice bed is not something you want to go through. Yes, you should do it if your relationship is screwed up, but I wish I was just better to her when I had the chance.

For those of you that lost their mom, I share your pain. For those that are still lucky enough to have a mom, make it count


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Thank you.

I lost my mother when I was in my 40's but it was still way too soon. I have sort of the opposite story to tell. She was a great mom in so many ways... The best "memories" are not even memories, they are the little bits of knowledge I gained just being her child. I know more about flowers and medicinal herbs than even I realize - it is not rare for me to stumble across some plant I don't really recall, but somehow I do know. I am sure that somewhere in some forest, she pointed it out to me and told me.
As she lay dying, after almost ten years of being terminally ill, the "big goombah" between us was hers. A scene from when I was 15, I truly thought I had just put it behind me. She was not emotionally equi9pped to deal with what happened to me, there was no point lingering on the pain. Then she died, without ever saying she was sorry, and I got angry, stayed angry for years under the care of SSRIs and a zombie therapist. I am ever so grateful to be back to the place where I just love and miss her, but loving and missing someone still does not really feel "good."
All this is juxtaposed for me, against my children. I reacted badly to SSRIs, and had a horrific withdrawal. It nearly killed me. My children resent all that I went through, I was not nice when I was CONSTANTLY battling an urge to kill myself. Rather than be at all glad that I survived, they will not even acknowledge that I am better. If I say anything other than "Yes, dear" I am "screaming and being a bitch." So I sit, between missing a mother who is dead, and children who wish I was. Happy day, indeed.

Love or fear? Choose again with every breath.

Your post in itself is proof

That you are a wonderful person who is trying to do her best under the circumstances. No matter how they may appear to treat you, deep down inside they do love you and they will realize that. If there is anything you can do to extend the olive branch to them and give them a chance to voice it, please do so. It may take some time, and it not work for a while, but keep trying. The relationship between a mother and her children is sometimes incredibly screwed up, but things can only get so screwed when there is a deep true love.

Hang in there, and do what you can to regain the time lost. We're all on our way out, make it the best.

And if they won't come around, screw them. They'll feel like I do one day, hopefully in the very very distant future.

thank you

I almost did not look at this reply. I expected it to say this was proof that I am a horrible person and my kids are right to hate me. My son actually did call ate yesterday to wish me a happy mother's day, that was pretty sweet. My daughter took the opportunity to jerk my chain, she has truly become a vicious person and it breaks my heart, she and I were very close before she went to law school. But even broken hearts keep beating, and as long as it keeps ticking, I'll keep a light on for her.

Love or fear? Choose again with every breath.

Thank you ((((((f-buzz)))))))

I miss:

"Hi honey, just your Mom callin...."

I'm too broken up.. right now... maybe after Church I will write more.

THANK YOU ((((f-buzz))))) I need this club today and appreciate your words of wisdom to those who have Moms.


I think all awesome moms share a similar tone. I can feel the wonderful mom vibe running through the text of your memory. It's a tough day Granger, thank you for sharing that. Welcome to the club. We have no rules, no leadership and no goal whatsoever. It exists just as a reminder that we're not alone in this, and that one day, unfortunately all of us will be a member. Make the most and remember the best.

I love the dailypaul.

Jefferson's picture


for sharing that. It must have been tough to do, which I respect. People sometimes don't appreciate what they have until it is gone. A lesson can certainly be learned here.

Thanks Jefferson

I think this is why I chose the daily paul to share this. It would be too hard to share with close friends and family. Hell, it was tough to share here! I know there are others out there who feel the same way and I know there are a lot of youngsters on here who may be in my old shoes.

The dp is a great place. Thanks for your contributions over the years.