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Smudge Pot on the issue of dog licenses (Sunday read).

The topic of dogs has been coming up recently. We got Sheriff's Deputies in Illinois going door to door to force dog owners to pay up or the pooches get impounded and we recently have a police dog that bit somebody (don't worry, the canine officer has more rights than the bitten party) and other dog related issues such as routine "puppycide" by officers who seem to consider it standard policy to shoot civilian dogs on sight (sorry which part of the constitution enumerates canine rights?) and so on. So that reminded old Smudge of a story.

About a year or so ago I bounce into the local town hall for some bull crap business paperwork and I'm waiting at the counter and one of the lanes has a sign with the arrow and it says "dog licenses".

When the drone on my case returned I asked him "how hard does my dog have to study to get his license?"

I was trying to make a joke right? But the guy looks at me with a complete blank and goes "what?" So I explain that while he tries very hard my dog really isn't all that smart and written tests are one of his weaknesses.

The guys has me locked with eyes the size of dinner plates. I think he's wondering "is this guy crazy?" but he manages to say "we just want to make sure you are a responsible dog owner" and I was like "and you are gonna ask his opinion? I don't even wanna know. He'll tell you I don't take him for enough walks and he doesn't get to destroy nearly enough frisbees and tennis balls and I'm sure I rank pretty low in his opinion. So hey, how about that permit?"

Cause I can see my very lucid explanation was going nowhere. Some people behind counters like a joke. This guy was just befuddled. I was an anomaly. And how is he supposed to know the very threatening looking biker dude with the dagger on his hip and a full grin revealing rotting teeth is in fact a comedian? I will say he expidited my request, even providing me with stamped envelopes and forms so I "don't have to come in here again".

I really appreciated that. I was tempted to schedule an appointement for my dog to take his test but if he wasn't pushing it I was willing to let things lie as they were. See I don't view this to be an argument between men but between men and God or more specifically, God and the men who make the rules.

Or en reducto the issue at hand is that God simply refuses to obey the rules of men but instead continues to merrily churn out unlicensed and unpapered dogs.

Dogs being routinely bought, sold and traded by men, they fall under interstate commerce regulation. All other manufacturers of goods are obliged to keep careful records and issue papers of origin and certification with their products so they can be taxed, tracked and regulated. But not so with God who seems to be an unrepentant scofflaw in this regard.

Now I have been told that God cares not for the laws of men, as if that needs any clarification but let's just see how his smug butt feels when he's standing in front of a MUNICIPAL COURT JUDGE.

And I bet that's what the drone who took my money for a half ounce of papers that weren't even good for rolling joints out of was thinkin'. His eyes as I left said "just you wait Mr. Smartypants (smarty fatigues actually), one day you'll end up in our MUNICIPAL COURT and we'll see how smug you and your little dog are.


But there you have the essential problem. And it's not just esoteric. Did you notice God has a monopoly on the dog creation industry? He's free from all these taxes and regulation, he has an unfair competitive advantage and it's stifling market entry and innovation, it's causing a massive mis-allocation of resources and in government's humble opinion, leaving it NO CHOICE but to force regulation on us, the innocent end-users. In other words, God, like everybody else that just can't follow the rules like the rest of us, ends up costing us in the form of higher taxes for services we shouldn't have to provide.


I can sense when I'm being set up for failure. Me and my dog. Pass a written test. GUYS MY DOG CAN'T OPEN A CAN OF ALPO. But he's my dog in the same way I say "my wife" or "my friends" or "my kids". I don't really own any of them. They are only mine by way of love and commitment.

The real culpable party here needs to be called to account. If God refuses to continue issuing unlicensed and unregulated dogs I think prompt judicial and law enforcement action is sensible and appropriate and I wonder if all that's required is for somebody to make a civil complaint. I see no need for additional legislation or drawn out processes, LET'S JUST ENFORCE THE LAWS ON THE BOOKS NOW.

And if God refuses to comply or is openly defiant in court, our august municipal court judges in black robes can throw his white robed butt right back in the pokey where he's been for most of the last couple thousand years. It's true. The guy is a regular jailbird.

How many ex cons have you heard say they met the Lord in prison?

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good posts deserve bumps

Thanks SP.

LL on Twitter: http://twitter.com/LibertyPoet
sometimes LL can suck & sometimes LL rocks!
Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15

i disagree with the tone and

i disagree with the tone and content of this article. your dog does not belong to you. it belongs to the government, you are just supervising it. look at it like a loan. your dog, like the rest of your property, is on loan from the state for you to use in a publicly responsible way. you also need to pay interest on the dog, by sending its daily yield to the irs. render poop unto caesar.

Here's Lady Betty.

Unleashed, unlicensed, and ready for Pugfest.
Ol' Lady Betty photo romney180_zps651c867f.jpg
That was great, Smudge! I enjoyed it. Thanks.

I was forced to get a license

I was forced to get a license for my dog when I adopted her, or more precicesly when she snared me with her puppy eyes and heartbreaking puppy whine, some 11 years ago at the SPCA.

So since then we're in their database and now every year they send me a renewal notice - 7 bucks for one year, 14 for two (as if 2 years is a bargain) and every year I ask my dog if she's gonna pay it and she just cocks her head to one side and looks at me like I'm crazy for asking if she's gonna support the state so I just crumple the notice and trash it.

So far, no cops have come to the door. When they do - when they come by to harass us for not paying our 7 bucks - that's when I'll know that the US of A has truly gone to the dogs.

I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be. Albert Einstein

Wait a second you got a dog with recurring charges?

doesn't that make it more like you are renting the dog? What the heck is the ramifications for transference of property there? Did you sign papers or something?

Who's dog is it anyway?

Most of those who think so actually don't and most of those who think sew actually rip.

"it standard policy to shoot

"it standard policy to shoot civilian dogs on sight (sorry which part of the constitution enumerates canine rights?)"

9th amendment, we have inalienable rights to our property. Dogs are our property.

Yup and on one occasion that actually worked for me not against

This is the subject of it's own story but I came posession of this dog, really nifty neato dog and in good faith I contacted it's rightful owners who were OVERJOYED to know I had recovered him but amazed that he was like 400 miles from where he started.

But they said they would be by real soon to get their dog.

And I waited weeks and months and I'd call them now and then to let them know hey, I still got your dog.

Arizona being a range state, the laws are ABSOLUTELY CLEAR. There is and will never be any transference of this property without contract BUT Arizona law is equally clear that I am owed restitution for my care and maintenance of the animal while under my care BEFORE I am obliged to surrender said property.

Well it's been what? 3 years now and let's just say my bill for this maintenance and boarding is ASTRO-FREAKING-NOMICAL. Well in excess of that it would cost to get another dog of the same pedigree. Basically the law gives me this tool to EFFECTIVELY OWN this animal but never to LEGALLY OWN.

What has me curious is this dog is so awesome that I would not sell him ever, not for a million dollars, not for all the money in the world. I wouldn't sell you for that matter. I really don't believe we own animals any more than we own the clouds. Although if you would like to buy some I will certainly sell them to you for ready cash.

Pick any cloud in the sky and I will sell you clear title to it for only $49.99!

Most of those who think so actually don't and most of those who think sew actually rip.

Certainly you are correct

So I kill your dog and I give you like $200 and we are square right? All set. No problemo amigo.

The kids will get over it, after all $200 buys a lot of ice cream.

you little sugar pop tart.

Most of those who think so actually don't and most of those who think sew actually rip.

My dog

doesn't have a license, so if you see him driving a white minivan, please contact the proper authorities. He answers to Rip (sometimes) and likes chicken.

cute face! :-) My beloved

cute face! :-) My beloved baby-girl Maxine died in January at an amazing 18 years old. she never had a license either, because i dont believe that the govt had authority to charge me a 'fee' for owninbg a dog. :-)

Do I need a license to own a

Do I need a license to own a cat? Or maybe one for a turtle? Why require it for one animal and leave the others out?

On a more serious note, a job like that probably leaves the guy feeling run down. I mean, unless he has more to look forward in life or something, he will likely accomplish nothing of note and be in positions like that all his life. Seeing as how he didnt understand an oh so obvious joke, he either isnt that intelligent to begin with, which backs up the point of being run down, or he had heard plenty of crazy people before and really didnt know if you were crazy or joking.
My friend works in property, for like rentals and that sort of thing. Me and him were watching the movie Iron Sky and it got to the part where the guy says "So let me get this straight, you went to the dark side of the moon as a black guy, and came back to Earth as a white hobo?" hahaha He laughed out loud at that and swore he had heard similiar stories for people who were being dead serious. The stories were more mundane of course, but the people just werent that smart or they were kinda crazy.
Next time someone like that doesnt get a joke, you should ask them if they ever heard a joke before and see if they really do deal with people that are serious about that sorta thing.

To climb the mountain, you must believe you can.

In my county apparently you do need a cat license

Maybe I have a cat, maybe I don't, maybe I registered the cat that may or may not exist, maybe I didn't. But hey, itgenerates a low level govt job to peek into people's windows to see if they have a cat, eh? ;)

I'm serious though, I even got a "Cat Amnesty Program" letter. I wish I would have kept it. It was kind of comical. But amazingly stupid.

I heard what you said

and i heard what you didn't say.

It was kind and gentle of you not to say it here but PM me if you want to say it.

It was very kind and considerate of you not to say what you could have said. That was you trying to protect your people.

Now who is protecting you?

Most of those who think so actually don't and most of those who think sew actually rip.

What I didnt say? I didnt

What I didnt say? I didnt have much else to say. To sum it up, all I meant was either the guy wasnt very intelligent, or he actually had delt with people that were being serious, even though in this case you were simply joking.

To climb the mountain, you must believe you can.

and you are gonna ask his opinion?

LOL, that's great. how, exactly does paying someone for a piece of paper make you any more responsible? questions.. questions.

thanks for sharing this event smudge.

I use Blue Wave, but don't expect one of THEIR silly taglines.


the problem is them letting you into that office to begin with unlicensed.

What they need is a general license first before you can apply for more specialized licenses like dog licenses.

This extra layer of licensing would add jobs and revenue.

Dear lord, dont give them

Dear lord, dont give them ideas.

To climb the mountain, you must believe you can.