Ben Fulofit and Other Absurdities...Submitted by dakealo on Mon, 05/13/2013 - 18:11
Kony, Clooney and Clone by The Writer formally known as Benjamin Fulford…
Alas it seems the White Hat formerly known as Prince has been missing since New years Eve when he was last seen partying like it’s 1999. That night when the computers lacking the additional digits necessary to keep planes in the sky and bankers from stealing every last trillion dollar petty cash stash flipped from Midnight to 12:01 the Y2K bug not to be confused with the lubricating jelly set the present turmoil in domino falling action.
A series of events that made planes crash into buildings, buildings to fall for no good reason and a Kenyan to be elected President when really he was applying for citizenship and a job as door man at the Hawaiian Hyatt.
However, very few knew that one minute into the year 2000 a parallel universe portal or wormhole opened up and a bunch of worms entered the new millennium who had one goal and that was to turn reality into the flies that hatched from eggs laid in Timothy Leary’s brain at the Monterrey Pop festival when Tim ate all the brown microdot confiscated by the alert first aid station headed up by Tommy and Dick Smothers who thought they were in a comedy sketch with Charro dressed as a hot latino nurse uniform with her big Latino boobies bouncing about like ah beautifulla 16 incha soffaballas……on their TV show-- because Tommy and Dick themselves had consumed what were termed yellow submarines with the recently cloned Paul McCartney who as a mirror image turned out right handed.……the flies in their infancy took a look around Timothy Leary’s brain and decided they needed to eat their way out. Unfortunately they found themselves peering through the windows of his dilated pupils the windows of his tie dyed soul and buzzed behind his eyes like flies trapped inside a closed picture window…
Charles Manson who was talking to Timothy Leary at the time said, “dude there are flies behind your eyes…” And Timothy Leary went berserk and was later subdued by a team of special agents who had been dispatched to the pop festival to plant evidence on Jimmy Hendricks which was meant to frame him with the slaying of Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin and Lynerd Skynerd in hope of creating a series of events that would later be tied to the weather underground, the black panther party and the psychedelic dragon society a secret society of Japanese Ninjas in tie dye Kimonos who had drank the Koolaid at Woodstock. This all somehow resulted in the Helter Skelter murders, Kent State and The Partridge Family.
One particular time traveling worm called into Coast to Coast with Art Bell and explained how time travel was only as accurate as the Timex watch strapped to the arctic seals flapper who plunged into sub zero temps and was paid scale in herring for appearing in the commercial… who would later appear in an Inconvenient truth with Al Gore where the seal would be seen putting flowers on a poor drown polar bears grave. Played by Roger Clinton in a white fur coat.
The time traveling worm denied sounding like anyone in the future but cautioned us to be very careful with an event he called the Great Dinar Scam of the 21st century and asked that we instead buy his book I Was a Teenage Shapeshifter, a story about how he could turn himself into all sorts of money making identities. But the time travelers story sort of vanishes leading many to speculate he had gone back into the past to ask Edward Cayce to sign his yearbook.
At this point in time a young Benjamin Fulford was living with pygmies in the South American jungle where he had been declared King by virtue of the fact he could reach the bananas. Benjamin Fulford took this time to teach himself to read and write Japanese because he already knew how to speak Canadian. A year later he swam to Hawaii where he ate some coconuts and smoked some bodacious hooch with Kohala and Merek and then continued his swim to Japan where he was immediately given the job of the Economic Reporter for Forbes Magazine and asked to join the Teriyaki Society.
After writing an article about a Russian Dressing and revealing the secret zesty flavoring ingredient he was trapped in an elevator with these Japanese dudes who were taping a public access show in the elevator. While waiting for someone to discover them stuck in the elevator— they compared notes and realized they all thought Rockefeller was a royal pain in Japans rump only it sounded like they said a loyal pain in japans lump…since their R’s sounded like L’s…
It was shortly after this Benjamin Fulford was first cloned accidentally when he went into get his tonsils out and a nurse mislabeled his toe tag this little piggy. 13 cloning operations later he was perfect and ready to become the spokesman for the White Dragon Society who needed a Caucasian westerner fluent in japanese gibberish to star in the New Japanese TV show Broops, Breeps and Brunders.
Where each week a new trick would be played on gullible people throughout the world.
This brings us to George Clooney who after being caught in bed with Brad Pitt, George Bush Jr and Bill Clinton in the Lincoln Bedroom at the White House in 2007 by Helen Thomas who stripped naked and dove in… later caught George wearing her underpants at a charity event for invisible children where money raised was diverted to George Bush Seniors Disaster Relief Diversion Fund for a Rainy New World Order Day…
Clooney, blackmailed by pictures taken in Helen’s antisemitic dirty little mind joined the Council on Foreign Relations in hope to have foreign relations with Henry Kissinger’s harem of tent boys who kept him company when on Safari in Africa hunting invisible children with a warlord named Kony who was the Willy Wonka of Ugandan chocolate factories…
Though a bit confusing it was all part of the parallel dimension wormhole from Y2K that sought to get World War 3 back on track and save Obama’s Presidency by going to War with China initiated by a youtube video made by some naked guy who was screaming Ugandan fruit flies have laid eggs in my brain!
The White Hat formerly known as former whitehat could be reached for comment but why?
Red Dragon Electric Company Sends Carbon Footprint Bill to Illuminati Then Turns Power Off!
By Ben Fullofit
Egypt: Vowing to rape Anderson Cooper a mob of angry Egyptians settled on raping each other and an orgy broke out in the streets of Cairo.
Meanwhile the Asian secret societies that were so secret that they asked Ben Fulford what color they were. Ben Fulford who is color blind offended them by guessing yellow?
The Vatican who had to call Rome Italy’s best plumber Antonio Pooperellielcloggo to help the Pope out of an embarrassing situation. Seems while bathing with a choir boy he somehow got his tongue stuck in the small boys butt who somehow got his toe stuck in the faucet. Go Figure.
Pooperellielcloggo who had seen this sort of thing dozens of times at the Vatican did a little reaming himself when he presented a bill for one billion dollars telling the Pope to make the check out to Obama Import Export Business and Healthcare Insurance.
Mubarek who conveniently turned up dead this past week attended a D20 meeting in Zurich…D20 or the meeting of dead NWO loyalists that sort of wished they hadn’t been so loyal sat quietly rotting and offered very little hope to one another or the future in general. The night janitor said the dessert table was quite excellent however…
Hu’s on first, Berlusconi’s on second and who gives an eff is serving up justice. Let me get this straight said Lou Costello, “Hu’s on first?”
“That’s right.” Answered Bud Abbott.
“Berlusconi’s on second?”
“That’s right…” Said Bud Abbott.
“And who gives a f**k is on third?”
“No, who gives a f**k is serving up justice on the Supreme Court, Ben Bernanke is on third.”
“Who’s up first…?”
“After Obama fouls out? Unfortunately Hillary…”
“Oh no…who’s on deck?”
“Don’t call me Boner Boehner…”
“Okay let’s start again…Hu’s on first?”
“Who’s playing shortstop…”
“Rahm Turkish bath Emmanuel…”
“In the Turkish bath…? Whoever drops the soap.”
“What’s there to be confused about, Who gives a f**k is serving up justice on the Supreme court what else do you need to know?”
The dead Russians for their part… Yuri Andropov who had dropped off the face of the Earth only to return temporarily to borrow a cup of sugar from Alpha Omega who decided that calling off mass extermination would be a waste of 6 centuries of planning and perfectly good party hats– reportedly told the ancient black nobility to BYOB who was outraged to find their kegger fund had been diverted into a bioweapons program used to target offworlders who were planning on becoming onworlders as soon as they could get their mortgage approved to buy a retirement village in Florida built by alligators who went to college to study business to try and pull themselves up and out of the swamp.
These enterprising alligators were said to be related to the offworlder onworlders who have been charged with conflict of interest and filed at the world court in Hague wherever the hell that is. When asked to comment the alligator bit off the reporters head then raped her.
Whitehat report number 12 promises to be more Project Camelot friendly and Kerry Lynn Cassidy has been asked to go interview herself with a radio shack realistic microphone.
This reporter can’t wait to hear the insiders inside. A bit too far…? Ah what the hell…if you can’t sexually harrass women you want to sleep with who can you sexually harrass…?
Maybe Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas can at least clarify this…No…?
Kill or be killed clones for their part…
World leader lookalikes are in demand since many have been killed off or cloned by inept cloning facilities that thought they were asked for clowns. Meet the new Bozo same as the old Bozo.
The Queen of England who was seen naked after a vigorous rugby match then seen in the shower afterwards was said to be hung like a Belgian horse… After she knighted Rudy Guiliani she said, “oops I meant to make you my groom of the stool…”