21 votes

Shocking! The Real Edward Snowden - You Will Not Believe This

It might be instructive to start with his background.

My friends, have you ever accidentally dislodged a rock on the ground and seen what was underneath ? Well, exploring my opponent's background is dissimilar. All the slime and filth and corruption you could possibly imagine, even in your wildest dreams, are glaringly nonexistent in this man's life. And even during his childhood !

Let us take a very quick look at that childhood: It is a known fact that, on a number of occasions, he emulated older boys at a certain playground. It is also known that his parents not only permitted him to masticate excessively in their presence, but even urged him to do so. Most explicable of all, this man who poses as a paragon of virtue exacerbated his own sister while they were both teenagers !

I ask you, my fellow Americans: is this the kind of person we want in public office to set an example for our youth ? Of course, it's not surprising that he should have such a typically pristine background -- no, not when you consider the other members of his family:

  • His female relatives put on a constant pose of purity and innocence, and claim they are inscrutable, yet every one of them has taken part in hortatory activities
  • The men in the family are likewise completely amenable to moral suasion
  • My opponent's second cousin is a Mormon
  • His uncle was a flagrant heterosexual
  • His sister, who has always been obsessed by sects, once worked as a proselyte outside a church
  • His father was secretly chagrined at least a dozen times by matters of a pecuniary nature
  • His youngest brother wrote an essay extolling the virtues of being a homosapien
  • His great-aunt expired from a degenerative disease
  • His nephew subscribes to a phonographic magazine
  • His wife was a thespian before their marriage and even performed the act in front of paying customers
  • And his own mother had to resign from a women's organization in her later years because she was an admitted sexagenarian

Now what shall we say of the man himself ?

I can tell you in solemn truth that he is the very antithesis of political radicalism, economic irresponsibility, and personal depravity. His own record proves that he has frequently discountenanced treasonable, un-American philosophies and has perpetrated many overt acts as well.

  • He perambulated his infant son on the street
  • He practiced nepotism with his uncle and first cousin
  • He attempted to interest a 13-year-old girl in philately
  • He participated in a seance at a private residence where, among other odd goings-on, there was incense
  • He has declared himself in favor of more homogeneity on college campuses
  • He has advocated social intercourse in mixed company -- and has taken part in such gatherings himself
  • He has been deliberately averse to crime in our streets
  • He has urged our Protestant and Jewish citizens to develop more catholic tastes
  • Last summer he committed a piscatorial act on a boat that was flying the American flag
  • Finally, at a time when we must be on our guard against all foreign "isms", he has coolly announced his belief in altruism -- and his fervent hope that some day this entire nation will be altruistic !

I beg you, my friends, to oppose this man whose life and work and ideas are so openly and avowedly compatible with our American way of life...

read the stunning conclusion here:
http://www.dailypaul.com/253091/guaranteed-effective-all-occ...

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Ha, love it! Would've taken me two years

to come up with something similarly clever. Bravo! and cheers to the hero Ed Snowden.
I'm still grinning.

Pretty sure i just learned at

Pretty sure i just learned at least 112 new words. Webster thanks you.

If ignorance is bliss, Washington DC must be heaven.

LOL!!!!! Wow. Well done!!!

LOL!!!!! Wow. Well done!!!

Where has your sense of humor gone, DPers?

I thought mine had taken a leave of absence, till I read this. Apparently, some folks' sense of humor has already left.

"Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern." ~~C.S. Lewis
Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15

all the negative votes are funny

goes to show how many people don't even read the content in full before clicking the down vote button.

i up voted for the lol

Lol that reminds me of the

Lol that reminds me of the assignment back in high school that had really long instructions and the bottom line says "Please disregard all above instructions and do not complete this assigment" just to test who actually reads all the directions.

We all share this eternally evolving present moment- The past and future only exist as inconsequential mental fabrications.

OK looks like a gov hit peice to discredit the information.

I DO NOT CARE WHO HIS FAMILY OR WHO HE IS. I know he worked for the ZIO NSA, unconstitutional, employer.

I want to talk about the NSA recording every communication I make over these so called PUBLIC, telephone, internet, and cell. I want to see criminals punished the same way any one of use would be punished if we did the exact same thing. I want an investigation into the Zionist IzUnReal connection and have this foreign intervention into my affairs stopped.

The NSA, branch of the US MILITARY has to be disbanned immediatly.
The Posse Comitatus Act is the United States federal law (18 U.S.C. § 1385, original at 20 Stat. 152) Hey government its your rules I didnt make them. Why dont you start following your rules. For the people by the people? Do as I say not as I do? (DIctatorship) Set the example, inspect what you expect.

Oh but I know the gov is just a puppet zionist ratchild false national debt scam. The elections are fraud. Its one huge evil puppet show financed based upon false debts digitized in so called central banks.

Its about slavery. Using claims of NATIONAL DEBT, false debt created out of thin air in a private corporations computer room at a keyboard. Using these liar claims to force immoral cowardly submission. Those who will not submit to immoral extorted theft, false national debt collections are identifyed as the runnaway debt slaves. They get caught and punished with any punishment desired up to and to include torture and death.

A cycle that spirals into ever increasing false debt and increasing collections, until it culiminates with a planned, engineered, madeup, genocide called world war. Its about time people stopped attending this evil puppet show. Stopped feeding the beast. Enlightened disengagement, leaderless revolt.

sovereign

tasmlab's picture

Incredible and fantastic

Nice job! That was very amusing. It would've given me a headache to write, if i was even capable of doing so.

Currently consuming: Gatto: "Underground history of education..", FDR; Wii U; NEP Football

Im sold, this guy is a piece

Im sold, this guy is a piece of garbage. Hey can you help support my cause to ban Dihydrogen Monoxide in America? Next to global warming I believe is it the single greatest threat to our environment and the chemical has even permeated itself into every biological system on earth:

http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/dhmo.htm

We all share this eternally evolving present moment- The past and future only exist as inconsequential mental fabrications.

dacharlie's picture

And its 100% FATAL

No one is immune to this substance and they all die of it at varying speeds over seconds or years depending on the extent of exposure...

Dihydrogen Monoxide is found levels up to 70% of every body!

In some people most of that is in their brains!

Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have the exact measure of the injustice and wrong which will be imposed on them. - Frederick Douglass

C'mon now

Who hasn't engaged in a little pre-pubescent philately? At least it was with a girl, which is more than I can say.

“With laws shall our land be built up, but with lawlessness laid waste.”
-Njal Thorgeirsson

and I just thought it was amusing--

.

it's hard to be awake; it's easier to dream--

Field Day

If any of this "crap" was remotely true...
MSM would be having a field day.
I've seen this before, I think they have a name for it,
called "disinformation".
Looks like there are some real "leakers" working against Mr. Snowden.
To a large percentage of Americans, and the rest of the World,
Mr. Snowden is a hero.

Um... You might want to try

Um... You might want to try reading the post again. Maybe look up some of the words used if you need to. :)

Wiki of the Damned

The first of two pro­grams deal­ing with Wik­iLeaks, this broad­cast exam­ines an intelligence-connected mind con­trol cult with which Wik­iLeaks king­pin Julian Assange appears to be affil­i­ated. As well con­nected as it is ruth­less and crim­i­nal, the San­ti­nike­tan Park Asso­ci­a­tion of Anne Hamilton-Byrne con­di­tioned chil­dren with drugs, sen­sory depri­va­tion, sleep depri­va­tion, tor­ture and rit­ual sex­ual abuse in order to pro­duce sub­jects who bent to the will of the group’s leader.

http://spitfirelist.com/for-the-record/ftr-724-wiki-of-the-d...

henry9's picture

I am now cleaning coffee off my keyboard.

Good one my friend!

hm

Walmart sells pre-made tin foil hats now

ecorob's picture

I'm flabbergasted...

that no one is reporting this.

its 'cos I owe ya, my young friend...
Rockin' the FREE world in Tennessee since 1957!
9/11 Truth.

Some good words - that was fun.

Had to look this one up:
Hortatory - urging to some course of conduct or action; exhorting; encouraging: a hortatory speech.

"In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot."--Mark Twain

Come On, Is This Bill O Again?

You pinhead! Opin, opin, opin..

Nerds.

You never know when they'll surface, but it's obvious when they do :)

No.7's picture

Damn Rickroll

Gets me every time

The individual who refuses to defend his rights when called by his Government, deserves to be a slave, and must be punished as an enemy of his country and friend to her foe. - Andrew Jackson

This is a "thread slide" tactic

Mods need to delete these spam threads trying to knock off the important news posts.

similar to bumping to top with some

Inane comment that ultimately says nothing...
...

even Teddy Roosevelt disdained pandas

and I thought I was one

corrupticus curmudgeon, this guy is ruint ! beyond measure
off with his earbud!

Slander of this sort, sir,

does not accrue to your discredit. You have achieved a veritable nadir of falsehood.

Recommended reading: The Most Dangerous Superstition, http://www.amazon.com/Most-Dangerous-Superstition-Larken-Ros...

Is he a

Democrip or rebloodlican?

Ok, this post needs a link to a dictionary too! LOL!

Nice find :)

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience"—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Reading this post made me

Reading this post made me learn a few new words that I will probably never use myself.

It is better to look dumb and not be, than to look smart and not be.