48 votes

Obama walks into a bank

President Obama walks into the Bank of America to cash a check.

As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"


"It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"


"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am President Barack Obama, the President of the United States of AMERICA !!!!"


"Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the Dodd/Frank legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."


Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."


"I am sorry Mr. President but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."


"I am urging you, please, to cash this check."


"Look Mr. President, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his check.

Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his check.

So, Mr. President, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the President of the United States ?"


Obama stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do and I don't have a clue.


"Will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?

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I thought it would end with a drone missile in her cup

Anyone else think that?

If men are good, you don't need government; if men are evil or ambivalent, you don't dare have one.


I needed a good laugh before bed. Thank you!!

"Villains wear many masks, but none as dangerous as the mask of virtue." - Washington Irvin




I try to change people every day. Do You?



OK, I've got one.

A communist, a puppet, an illegal immigrant, and a clown walk into a bar. The bartender says:

"What'll you have Mr. President?"

Defeat the panda-industrial complex

I am dusk icon. anagram me.

lol yeah

That's a good one, told it a few times myself. It sticks

I Laughed Out Loud

Dodd-Frank, oh my goodness.

"Bipartisan: both parties acting in concert to put both of their hands in your pocket."-Rothbard

That was worth the set up

thank you!

"Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern." ~~C.S. Lewis
Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15