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12 Of The Best Ed Snowden Jokes I've Heard So Far

Have ya heard the one about that Edward Snowden guy?

How do you know when Ed Snowden has been in your refrigerator?
There are top-secret documents in the cream cheese.

What's the difference between Ed Snowden and Hitler?
Hitler couldn't get into Moscow.

Why did Edward Snowden cross the road?
It wasn't the Russian border.

What is the difference between Ed Snowden and a frisbee?
Anyone can catch a frisbee.

What is the difference between Ed Snowden and the clap?
Nobody wants to catch the clap.

How many Ed Snowdens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. Snowden screws over governments.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ed.
Ed who?
Forget it - I'll just use the window.

What is the difference between Ed Snowden and Bigfoot?
Some people claim to have seen Bigfoot.

What is the difference between Ed Snowden and the black box on an airplane?
You can always find the black box on an airplane.

What is the difference between Ed Snowden and Osama Bin Laden?
The government eventually found Bin Laden.

What is the difference between Ed Snowden and a ninja?
Ninjas can't really walk through walls.

A hero, a patriot, and a role-model walk into a bar. The bartender asks:
What'll you have, Mr. Snowden?

Like baker's dozens? So does Edward Snowden! See the comments for even more jokes for no extra charge!




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meekandmild's picture

Whats the difference between Snowden and Obama?

You can believe Snowden.

How is Ed Snowden like a pint of Guinness?

They each have a big foamy head...

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

What's the difference between Ed Snowden and a fish?

Fish can't blow whistles.

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

Heard this somewhere..

Q: Where can Snowden go to avoid prosecution?
A: Wall Street

ran across this related thread on Reddit yesterday

--some real crack-ups!

Theoretically speaking, what's the best thing to do if I'm a high profile whistle-blower wanted by the US government for treason?
http://www.reddit.com/r/shittyadvice/comments/1h6een/theoret...

example replies:
"The best place to go is Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Nobody there ever gets charged with crimes."

"Nice try, NSA."

"Reality Show/Talk Show Host"

"If you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before." Debra Medina

This is great.

Keep it coming!

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

Snock, snockWho's

Snock, snock

Who's there

Facepalm.

........Facepalm, who?

??????......ohhhhhh.....

Knock knock. Who's there?

Ed.

Ed who?

Forget it... there are other doors...

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

People are cashing in on him.

Check out eBay. Type his name in...or here is an overview: http://www.ebay.com/sch/?_nkw=edward%20snowden&clk_rvr_id=49...

This thread started actually because my friend Tom said...

"Edward Snowden is my American Idol."

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

Tommy's got another one...

Tommy Lee Rhoades, drummer extraordinaire, wished to point out he hates being called Tom. Also he came up with another joke that I am obliged to share:

What's the difference between Ed Snowden and a Siamese cat?
Ed Snowden is Caucasian.

I don't know if that makes any sense but apparently his bartender liked it...

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

Loved the last one.

A hero, a patriot, and a role-model walk into a bar. The bartender asks:
What'll you have, Mr. Snowden?

"It is well enough that people of the nation do not understand our banking and monetary system, for if they did, I believe there would be a rEVOLution before tomorrow morning." - Henry Ford

What's the difference between Ed Snowden and a Pokemon?

You can catch all the Pokemon, but no one's ever caught a Snowden...

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

Why couldn't the plane leave the Russian airport?

It was Snowden.

Excellent. Ever heard "Why is 6 afraid of 7?"

Why is MI6 afraid of Snowden?
Because Snowden relayed files.
(there's a joke in there I know it)

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

Because 7 8 9

Because 7 8 9

Linda Cross's picture

What did 0 say to 8 ?

Nice belt.

If you see something, say something, the government is listening.
Silence isn't golden, it's yellow.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a RINO?

elefino (hell if I know)...and neither does the NSA know where Snowden is!

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. - Matthew 10:16

Why was Tigger Looking in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh... And Snowden!

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. - Matthew 10:16

When is Snowden not the man everyone's looking for?

When he's abroad.

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

How do you get a Snowden with no left arm out of a tree?

Get him to waive his right.

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

What is the difference between Ed Snowden and a boomerang?

Ed Snowden never comes back.

Potential Annualized National Debt Allowance - a look back at 40 years of PANDA diplomacy next Pandaline

haha lmfao, that was good

haha lmfao, that was good stuff. I don't know any Snowden Jokes but i can assure you on this 4th of July. Our corrupt us gov is the punchline to all jokes.

Ron Paul 2016