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Obama celebrates 30 million US war-kills since WW2; past Hitler to #3 on all-time list! (Satire)

President Obama announced at a White House press conference today that the US moved past Hitler’s Nazis to #3 for number of deaths caused by government (democide). Press conference excerpts:

President Obama: America’s heritage of celebrating war spans from our national anthem to supporting the War on Terror today. I’m proud to announce the US has moved past Hitler’s Nazis for third place on the all-time list of most people killed by governments. That’s right, we’ve out-murdered the Nazis! (press members chant “USA! USA!”)

I know you’re excited; let me explain what this means: since WW2, the US has killed between 20 and 30 million evil-doers, communists, and terrorists in humanitarian interventions. The list of democides has China at #1 with over 75 million, and the USSR at #2 with over 60 million… but we stopped the Ruskies dead in their tracks when we won the Cold War! (press members laugh)