Snowden Apology Letter Deemed A HoaxSubmitted by Chris Chunderski on Sun, 07/07/2013 - 23:57
A letter circulating the internet in which CIA leaker Edward Snowden retracts his statements and offers an apology has been deemed a hoax, according to State Department officials.
"Baby, why's it got to be this way" begins the letter "Remember all the good times? The weekend in Maine, all the good times back at the crib? Baby I miss you more every day."
According to representatives of the United States, "That Snowden is a no-good two-timer. He always be talkin' to other countries. Even if he really is sorry we just know he'll do it again. He always up to his old tricks."
The letter offers a different viewpoint, waxing poetic:
Baby I've been to Chinatown,
And all them ladies just make me frown.
Sure I talkin' to countries in the north,
And some down south for what it's worth,
But my country is the best in the west,
USA, baby, you the best.
Unnamed sources have stated that the letter was bordered with hearts with arrows through them, and carried the distinct scent of Snowden's favorite cologne, CK One.