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It Can Happen! Cop Witnesses Justice, Doesn't Interfere as 'Serial Sniffer' KO'ed

(this story warmed my heart so much I had to share it with y'all)

Four days ago my friend, a much-tattooed former boxer turned family man, was at a gas station with his girlfriend and another friend. As he was gathering his wares he felt someone behind him and heard sniffing sounds. He turned around and some guy was sniffing his shoulder, telling him "You smell good".

My friend naturally told him to 'back the f off'. Dude sniffed him again saying "I like the way you smell".

He went to the counter to pay for his purchases. Weird guy followed him. He then walked toward the exit where his friends were holding the door open saying "let's just go. Forget about that guy" (they knew what was coming).

Strange guy met him at the door saying "What's your name? Can I smell you some more?" At this point my friend set down his groceries and laid the guy out with a right to the jaw.

The attendant called an ambulance. The cop sipped his coffee. My friend backed out the door.

Two days later my friend went back to the same gas station. The same attendant was working and the same cop was sipping. As he went up to check out the attendant said "Dude! Have you seen the footage from when you knocked that guy out? It's awesome." Then the police officer took my friend's hand, shook it, and said "That guy has been asking for a beat-down for a long time. Thank you."

Common sense prevails. Justice is served with a right.

End of story.

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latest update as of yesterday - no there was no contact...

the man's nose never touched my friend's shoulder.

hope that clears up any confusion.

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Update: The cop wasn't drinking coffee...

He was chatting on his cellphone and giggling as he watched this exchange.

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I must say...

that I oddly enjoy being presented material in which the conscious line between fact and fiction has been removed.

One suggestion in critiquing the piece from my perspective as a reader is that you add reference to the police officer's presence prior to the fifth paragraph. It would be advantageous for the reader to know he's present, witnessing the event, before it's played out. As it stands, the coffee sipping thing is good, but it still comes across kinda like, "and oh, there was a cop there who watched all this..."

If that's too much of a change to do, let me suggest this...

Change this...
"He walked out the door. The attendant called an ambulance. The police officer took a sip from his coffee."

to this...
"He walked out the door. A police officer took a sip from his coffee. The attendant called an ambulance."

The above change remedies the notion I originally had that perhaps the cop showed up with the ambulance.

or this...
"He walked out the door. The attendant called an ambulance. A police officer watching from the snack counter took a sip from his coffee."


I also commend you on the story if your simple intent was to post something that would generate interestingly diverse comments and stimulate subtle bits of contention among DP readers. It's a sly vehicle as such.

I took your Jedi mind trick into consideration...

What do you think of the edit???

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It's still kinda stark, but it clears up some confusion.

sharkhearted's picture

"The cop took a sip of his coffee."

That's hilarious!

Yeah sometimes street justice needs to be delivered, and sounds like your friend did just that after he had exhausted all other options.

Norfolk, VA

Time to INVESTIGATE the investigators of 9/11. PROSECUTE the prosecutors. EXPOSE the cover-up.

Edit in that paragraph.

I moved the reference to the cop to the second sentence for dramatic effect.

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Great wording!

Now I have the image of the police officer appearing as Winston Churchill. :D

I heard this story the day before I wrote it...

and decided to stew it over for a bit before telling it. I wanted to get it right. It is 99% true(I added the part about the coffee), as it stands on its own without need for elaboration, and because my friend doesn't fear for his story being told to the world. If one cop doesn't scare him, why would all of them?

And to quickly address some of the comments I'm seeing, this is a quiet family-oriented neighborhood on the lower end of town. We're just this side of Mayberry RFD.

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Maybe there is more to this story than you wrote...

But could you tell me what the "Weird guy" did to cause harm or loss to your friend?

OK, it's not conventional behavior and would make me uncomfortable should it happen to me, but was there really a threat to your "much-tattooed former boxer" friend?

Was the cop just too lazy to fill out the paperwork for an assault that required an ambulance?

Or was there more to the man who told your friend that he smelled good?

What was it that struck so much fear into the heart of your "much-tattooed former boxer" friend that caused his "justified" aggressive response?

don't know but I can tell you the definition of the word assault

Assault: 1. You'll know it when it happens.

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Justified ?

Or Common Law just defied.

Assault? Justice ?

The comments on this thread are a rip. I really am not going to pose all the issues raised by the facts of your interesting story, but I'm rather surprised no one has yet posited the obvious, more familiar gender conundrum of an analogous sexual assault exaggeration which might be imagined in the context of a boy/girl encounter posed an unwelcome flirt in the check out line. (Remember the old commercials for a product: 'gee your hair smells terrific'?). Would the unequal power entitle a miffed dainty female not just brandishing, but resorting to an unwarned thrust to the gut of a pestering ( she would say intrusive) Romeo ? ... And what about the unequal benefits of chivalry ? Would we be cheering the nonchalance of the cop in that instance ?

There's a lot here.

I'll just respond to your inquiry about assault which justifiably ( at least until politics resolves matters of prejudice) requires:

"an apprehension in another of an imminent harmful or offensive CONTACT"

[ Was there really an undauntable threat of inevitable touching ?]
SEE generally:

Yes there was physical contact - 'felt someone behind him', no..

there is no exaggeration in this story as any addition to a story subtracts from it. Though I did add the part about the cop sipping his coffee to indicate his presence, the order of events, and to show his action which was to do nothing.

What if it had been a woman? I know absolutely my friend would never hit a woman, though I would argue that chivalry has no place in a physical attack situation. Yes, I just said it, I think hitting a woman can be justified. Please note, though, that I never hit anybody, it's not my style, and I need all my fingers unbroken so I can type up all these wonderful stories.

Also, my friend said I could use his real name but I won't because I think the innocent here need to be protected - the innocent being this 'good cop' or as close to one as I've heard of lately.

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Chivalry ...

... raises it's self-beknighted head when I ask what we would think if the gender tables were turned and we weren't so viserally creeped out by the sniffer offending our homophobic machoness.

What if it's a typical lounge lizard Romeo who taps an elbow or shoulder and a dainty damsel who unreasonably decides a rebuff/retreat, a stiff arm or wake-up-I'm-serious face slap is not a least extreme prerogative she wishes to exercise so she escalates straight to maximum extreme prejudice. Pop goes the weasel. We cheer ? And the stand offish peace officer, where was he while the damsel was in distress? Post pop? Was she really in justifiable distress so long as she held the equalizer under her cloak? Will common law principles prove gender neutral?

Isn't that all this, as the Zimmerman trial reminds, why we must continue to esteem Trial by Jury ?

There's always more to every story.

"Maybe there is more to this

"Maybe there is more to this story than you wrote..."

Not yet! You'll have to wait for him to write more. ;)

"Was the cop just too lazy to fill out the paperwork for an assault that required an ambulance?"

I bet many cops would automatically generate such paperwork having witnessed such a situation. I like to think though, that this cop was smart enough to figure he didn't need to do such a thing until someone such as the sniffer called upon him to do that.

There was a sale on nachos...

Other than that, not much else to be told...

As far as paperwork, clearly this guy had been asked to leave plenty of times, probably been arrested a bunch of times, never payed the fines, went to the clink for 2 or 3 days on each charge, and otherwise went about doing what he does best: sniffing heads. Then he got his jaw broke.

Ultimately, this is just a good old-fashioned American good cop story.

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you obviously haven't seen enough

if violence warms your heart

When did i say violence warms my heart?

Please show me where I say that.

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cmon man don't play dumb

Let's skip the whole u saying, "What u said isn't exactly what I said" cop out bit (especially since what u think I said isn't exactly what I said either)

That is you sharing your feelings in the opening parentheses correct?

This story is about a man punching out another person (who didn't touch the guy btw) with a right to the jaw correct?

Put two and two together with a touch of common sense

Your friend could have handled this so many other ways than violence.. hell he could of made a joke like "Ya you are smelling ur mom" or anything really would have shown better confidence of character

For the most part I saw it as

For the most part I saw it as a story of a police officer who knew how to not step beyond his task, his job description. Certainly the story would not have suffered much from being concluded before the officer shook hands and mentioned the "beat-down" thing, but when you think about it beyond the officer's apparent endorsement of the wrestler's [OMG!] violent act, it indirectly shows that the police officer had restrained himself successfully for quite some time.

Whether or not the sniffer serves the wrestler with assault charges is a separate issue. Sure, perhaps the wrestler could have handled things differently [I certainly would have], but hey, so could the sniffer have handled things differently. If the sniffer feels he was unduly violated, he can argue that in court.

It is not the job of a police officer to indiscriminately intervene into the affairs of individuals.

Heck yes!

I bet when this incident happened the cop saw a future officer in that tattooed lad..

yippee! just what we need! :P

fascinating extrapolation

I bet this is the author's favorite comment.

*author sips drop from bottom of cup*

*goes for more coffee*


Violence is necessary at times. Not saying this was an American revolution, but if the guy needed a good punch it was likely a revolution for him. Quit being such an arse.

Still, if the guy is that strange, it's probably his parents who need a punch.

Love is much more the answer

Love is much more the answer than a right hook to a strange comment

Actually, there are many people who will never, ever learn

or take a clue that they are doing something wrong until they are punished. They get too much enjoyment out of jerking others around in one way or another (here, violating boundaries, continuing to make somebody else feel uncomfortable even after being warned.) The guy had it coming to him.

yup that's right

I do live in modern day America..

The country where "had it coming to him" works wonders. It's just such an easy and great way to rationalize why we went after Saddam Hussein; or why we are going after Edward Snowden.. oh let's not forget Adam Kokesh or Michael Hastings.. they all definitely had or have it coming to them too amirite

*high 5*

At least

the odd dude didn't get down on his hands and knees, sniffing his crack and say, let me guess what you had for dinner.

It's time! Rand Paul 2016!

"Truth, Justice, and the American Way!"

The mind boggles...

...at the possibilities...

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What a stupid story.

You should rename it:

Really though,
If the cop knew of this guys habits, knowing he's been looking for a beat down for a long time,
surely the owners of the place knew too.

The cop should have rid the place of the sniffer at the first sniff.
I'm certain the owners of the station didn't want him there either.

Now an assault did take place, if the sniffer chooses to press charges. I guess the boxer could try for self defense.

I agree. It's stupid that this is even a story worth telling.

It's sort of like seeing a regular airplane fly by without leaving a trail. Seeing common sense happen in this country has become such a rare event that I felt compelled to write about it...


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