NSA: Ed Snowden Has Used Up All His Personal Days, Must Report Back To Work Friday (updated)Submitted by Chris Cheesecurdski on Fri, 07/19/2013 - 05:17
In a joint statement with State Department, contractor Booz Allen Hamilton, and the Hague, NSA spokesperson Gordy Skamper announced today that Edward Snowden has used up all of his personal and paid vacation days and needs to report back to work on friday.
"We realize that it is inconvenient to come in on a friday, especially after nearly 9 weeks off of work" reads the official statement, "but we need you back at the office for that big project coming due."
NSA officials also requested those media present to pass the word to Snowden if they've seen him that no one has touched his desk, casual friday is still shorts or jeans and a crew shirt, and there is a big ice cream cake in the break room.
As of 4:30 pm, friday July 19, NSA contractor Edward Snowden is officially a 'no-call, no-show'. A written verbal warning has been entered in his personnel file.
Failure to show up on monday will result in a final written verbal warning, a 3-day unpaid suspension, and loss of Hawaiian-shirt friday privileges for two weeks.