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NSA Plan To Purchase 1.6 Billion Bottles Of Leak Ender 2000 Raises Questions

The National Security Agency (NSA) has responded to a letter dated July 12, 2013 from Senator Tom Coburn (R-Okla.) regarding the agency's recent purchase of 1.6 billion cans of Leak Ender 2000® leak sealant at a cost of nearly $24 billion plus $4 shipping and handling.

The response, dated August 6, says that NSA buys Leak Ender 2000® in bulk to "significantly lower costs."

The letter states:

"NSA routinely establishes strategic sourcing contracts that combine the requirements of all its components for commonly purchased goods and services such as ammunition, computer equipment and products guaranteed to stop pesky leaks. These strategic sourcing contracts help leverage the purchasing power of NSA to efficiently procure equipment and supplies at significantly lower costs and take advantage of limited-time buy-one-get one-free offers.

"Leak Ender 2000® is great! Just spray it on and no more leak! It stops leaks in metal, wood, cement, brick, baked enamel, and much much more. Plus it's guaranteed to work our your money back, guaranteed."

Promotional film expounding the benefits and potential applications of Leak Ender 2000®


However, despite such rosy official explanations, some observers including this one question whether the unanticipated and unannounced purchase may signal that NSA expects more or bigger leaks in the near future.

Other voices are blaming the enormous purchase for the Leak Ender 2000® supply shortages that are being reported across the nation.

Please watch this thread for updates as the story develops.

Miracle product guaranteed to stop leaks

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If one googles "Leak Ender 2000" this post appears.

Big time


Free includes debt-free!

I hear Ed Snowden just signed a spokesperson deal...

In fact, I made it up myself.

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I needed a good laugh today!

Typical governmet - overspent AGAIN trying to save

They bought 1.6 billion cans at 14.95 which equals 24 billion
- if the fools had just waited to the end of the infomercial you know damn right well they were going to throw in another can for free(shipping and handling extra of course - but still). We could have gotten all 1.6 billion cans for 12 billion.

There's no time for that!

We've got a massive leak on our hands! Call now!


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$4 Shipping & Handling!

Whatta DEAL!!!
It's Like "Christmas in August!!!

"Beyond the blackened skyline, beyond the smoky rain, dreams never turned to ashes up until.........
...Everything CHANGED !!

Does it stop leaks in snow?

Does it stop leaks in snow?

You're thinking of Snowd-In Stop Leak

Which is a patented pending product.

How to tell if a panda's been eyeballin' your woman - next Focus on Pandas

i'd chip in

for a case of 'congress be gone'.

"The two weakest arguments for any issue on the House floor are moral and constitutional"
Ron Paul

deacon's picture


gets rids of pests


roach-be-gone...this one has a money back guarantee

see,got you covered

setting your expectations to high,can cause depressiuon

deacon's picture

bogus article

$4.00 shipping?? try,try again

setting your expectations to high,can cause depressiuon

I don't know, I was trying to be funny. Did you think it was


What if I changed the facts to 1.6 billion cans? What if I call them bottles? Should I mention the buy one get one free offer earlier in the piece?

Dang it I hate overthinking this stuff.

How to tell if a panda's been eyeballin' your woman - next Focus on Pandas

deacon's picture

oh,it was funny

with the way the fed gov operates the total cost could have been just for the shipping/handling :)

setting your expectations to high,can cause depressiuon

Should I change it back to DHS? What about the fact that

the product doesn't work and is a rip-off? What about the fact that when combined with WD-40 it produces a substance known as 'rich-man's meth?'

questions, questions, questions...

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FiresofFreedom's picture

I honestly dont know whats more sad.

The fact that I believed this for the first 10 seconds or our government has become so ridiculous this sounds real.

Pop the corn, add the butter and enjoy the show.

The Three Stooges Go to Washington Disease.

Starring Jude Ishal, Con Gress and special guest star POTUS.

Free includes debt-free!

Garan's picture

At least the didn't..

At least they didn't purchase 1 millions gift cards for Tracheostomies.

(FYI: Tracheostomy is a surgical procedure to create an opening through the neck into the trachea/windpipe.)

Sounds sexy.

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Garan's picture

Try Blowing a Whistle Now

..I didn't think so.


of tax payers money. What are they going to trap people in their homes by sealing up doors and windows?

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Some times people joke on

Some times people joke on this site.

What? That's hilarious.

This thing started when my friend Tommy got a leak in his bike tire and I told him Ed Snowden got a job in Russia as a spokesperson for a radiator leak sealant maker and he said "Really?" and I said "no, not really."

How to tell if a panda's been eyeballin' your woman - next Focus on Pandas

Can we get

"Lie Ender 2008"?

On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.

Couple a feet of hemp rope is cheaper, allows due process.

Unlike government, we have to do it on the cheap.


Free includes debt-free!