15 votes

Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody

...three months ago Molly was taken into protective custody, and today she is here to share her story...


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The Onion makes Colbert, Stewart and Oliver

.. look like ass kissing statist court jesters.

Now that's some satire that'll grow some hair on your balls.

Wolf Blitzer is such a little wuss...

Watch how he freaks out when the lights go out during his visit to DPRK:


And did you see him drop Ashton Kuchter's name a few days ago when he was interviewing Ron Paul? What a dink. He would traumatize any child.

"Damn the pandas, full steam ahead"

-Admiral David Farragut

Love The Onion!

Good, harmless, funny piece.

For those who think it had a misleading header, check the catagory it was posted to. That's right, it was posted to HUMOR. And yes, it is funny.

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-HA!! ROFL!!!!!

Now THAT was funny. Why all the down votes? I got it up to -1.

BMWJIM's picture

Laughed so hard I tried to give you

another minus vote but it slipped. At least I got you back up to a minus three.

What is with the a'holes with the minus button. Or is it the minus button up their A'hole! Either way this is funny. Got to love the onion. I am trying to turn as many people as possible on to the humor/satire.

Thanks Chris.


1976-1982 USMC, Having my hands in the soil keeps me from soiling my hands on useless politicians.


was funny.


I laughed ...


The slogan press on has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.

- Calvin Coolidge


What is the point of all these misleading titles? Some people here seem to have a need to have their discoveries viewed by others, but this is being accomplished through disingenuous means. Why not put humor in parenthesis? Why not put Onion in parenthesis? In what way is this story beneficial, outside of humor? Those of us that decide to portray falsehood as fact are disingenuous and cause a great disservice to this site. Is it so difficult to not mislead? Is it so necessary to have others view that which one finds fun or important, that one must create a misleading headline? I've never commented on this particular subject, but for the sake of keeping this site relevant I suggest we keep our information as honest as possible. If one is set on sharing a story for the sake of inspiring light-heartedness and laughter, let others know it is humor in the title. Let us be upfront, let us keep this site open and absent of misdirection slight or otherwise. Thanks


And now back to you Chris!

(Canned laughter)

And in other news.....

For Freedom!
The World is my country, all mankind is my brethren, to do good is my religion.

Would have been more fun to see human suffering, huh?

You couldn't wait to see ol Wolf being brought down. The Enquirer does that well if you like those types of stories.

But a hilariously funny thing on the Daily Paul? Just terrible, isn't it?

You make a good point, but

for those who like those types of stories, they're even closer than the checkout line of the nearest chain supermarket. Plus, I don't know about you, but I find the Enquirer somewhat difficult to dance to. :)

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
~ John Muir

Perhaps this is more your speed...

Human Head Found In Hamburger

p.s. 'Wolf Blitzer' is a joke and any reference to him is humor so pointing this fact out would be unnecessary and redundant and not necessary.

"Damn the pandas, full steam ahead"

-Admiral David Farragut

- votes on an onion vid.... lol

did we lose our sense of humor some where?

Wow. Minus 6 votes.


"Damn the pandas, full steam ahead"

-Admiral David Farragut

why I down voted

I down voted because not getting some type of heads-up notice in the headline that it's from the Onion is getting really really old. It's so old that any post saying submitted from chris cudnoski I just don't read anymore. Sorry for that, but you have cried wolf here in your headline way beyond my chuckles. Humor I like. I know how to find it on my own with a simple google search too.

It isn't supposed to be funny.

This poor little girl was raised by Wolf Blitzer. She is now in protective custody.

Tragic, really.

"Damn the pandas, full steam ahead"

-Admiral David Farragut


it the Onion.

I would have downvoted... but I like ya.

True story.

'Peace is a powerful message.' Ron Paul