Then We Arrested A Congressman. Then We Ordered Pay-Per-View and A PizzaSubmitted by Chris Chunderski on Wed, 09/04/2013 - 22:07
10-8 update - If you want the full story see the comments as that is where updates will be located from now on.)
Please note: The following is filed under the category of fiction for two reasons. First: because it has not happened yet and second: because so many of the facts have been changed out of necessity that it is no longer an entirely true story. However, I am still very sure you will like it :)
I don't know any names. I don't know any dates. I don't know any locations. All I know is that I am a member of a group of over 80 people spread across our vast and great nation who, for the past 6 years, have been plotting the arrest and detention of a Senator, Congressman, Judge, or Governor under the charge of high treason against the United States of America.
And that the arrest will occur in the next two weeks.
We always assumed that we were being watched
It didn't take long for that classic question to come out: "what if they're watching us right now? What if one of us is CIA?"
When I asked, it was more 'tongue in cheek' than serious. I was already heavily invested by that time, and there had been more than enough evidence for any reasonably intelligent person to draw their conclusion by then to make my inquiry seem naive at best.
Still I asked it, and still I meant it. If this guy, my 'contact' in the organization wasn't able to provide at least a bullshit non-response, if his laugh wasn't wholehearted, then I simply wasn't interested. I don't need any more feathers in the wind.
But the answer he gave proved to be more telling than it first appears: "I was hoping you would ask that."
"We expect the NSA, Homeland Security, CIA, all them a-holes to be watching. And we give them plenty to watch."
Birth of an Idea: The Bankster protest
It all started, simply enough, with one short easy question: If we actually could arrest one of the Washington War Criminals, what would that look like?
This question seemed innocent enough amongst the particular people I was hanging out with that day - The Great Bankster Protest of '09 - and it may have passed unnoticed, since we'd all heard it so many times before, except this time I wasn't willing to let it go.
"You'd need a jail." I said, "Handcuffs, a vehicle, and definitely some video cameras."
"And an arrest warrant" came a voice from the crowd.
"And a cattle-prod, most likely!"
"Sure, but how would you ever get close enough to serve either?" came that voice again.
A voice I wouldn't hear again for more than 2 years.
(first of many parenthesis moments) This story can not be told in a classic narrative fashion of 'this happened, then this etc.' This story can only be told episodically - meaning that the punchline has already been delivered: that there will be a citizen's arrest of either a congressman or a senator, captured live and broadcast live via the internet, with all relevant paperwork filed, charges, et al, for what it's worth. The things most worth writing about did not happen in chronological order so a 'beginning to end' version of this story would not read well. The Q&A session that follows should be helpful.
The arrest will not be based on any particular vote or action from the particular C/S. It will not be based on the amount of time the individual has been in office. It will not be based around any one particular issue. It will be based on the number of treasonous votes times the amount of time in office divided by a random sequence generated by atmospheric noise.
...We couldn't allow recent events to weigh too heavily in favor of a 'candidate' since such votes for or votes against so often disappeared into the vapor of history without comment. Would a vote against war in Syria weigh in favor of a 'candidate?' The randomizer systems helped again of course.
Which came first - The 'group' or Daily Paul?
I joined Daily Paul after I was recruited. I needed to prove my writing/documenting skills and establish an in with a widespread internet forum. My writing was previously and easily established via www.biodiesel.infopop.cc where I posted under the name 'clean and green'. My current and ongoing internet presence was more easily provided via Daily Paul.
The randomization was done for a bunch of reasons. We didn't want any one person or faction to take over the movement. We didn't want any CIA infiltrators to gain power through means forthright or subtle. we also felt an obligation to future peoples' movements to provide a platform of sorts to build upon.
I was chosen for the job of telling this story through our normal process - random sequences were selected, personal desire to do the job was implied, the group voted on it, the magic 8-ball was consulted.
Table of Contents
How did I join this group
It all began with the simple question. Until then I hadn't been planning on joining a secret group intending on arresting a congressman or senator. After the meet I felt quite agreeable to the idea.
How did we organize
We formed what we came to refer to as a 'Limited Anarchy.' A good analogy would be a ship that had everyone's hands on the wheel, with everyone having a potential ability to sink himself and everyone else on board. Since natural human tendencies like trust sometimes sink ships, we programmed into the software countermeasures against trust. An example would be that anyone who was consistently on the winning side of votes would have this count against them in the amount of 'weight' the program added to their vote. Time in the group also counted against a member's machine-calculated confidence level. Rather than trusting someone because they'd been in since the beginning, the program would distrust them for this. Alternately, new members were given increased clout during votes.
'Leia' (the more humanized name given to the program as a convenience and demi-pronounciation of the initials for Limited Anarchy - L.A.) became the completely unhinged member of the tribe who had disproportionate power at her disposal, and an uncanny ability to know when she was being watched.
How did we communicate
We had 'open' sessions and 'closed' sessions. Open sessions were conducted on open phone lines that were ripe for monitoring, during which we spoke openly on a separate innocuous topic - let's say, the opening of a cake decorating shop. More intensive conversations went over secure encrypted lines.
How did we choose which C/Senator to arrest
How did we decide when to do act?
How did we finance the project
How did we assign decision-making power
((I just learned the definition of the word 'footnote.' Please see below.))
(1) Cheese required with meals in Wisconsin http://www.slashfood.com/2009/10/19/wisconsin-apple-pie-and-...