19 votes

Obama promises no boots on the ground, military to get new "tactical sneakers"

The Obama administration today announced the issuance of an all-new line of tactical footwear for deployment in military action in Syria.

"This line of stylish yet savage footwear will increase our combat readiness while minimizing the need for boots on the ground in Syria" the announcement read.

Military leaders reacted to the news enthusiastically. A spokesperson detailed the Tactical Intruder Sneakers are "really zippy and they got these awesome stripes on 'em" as well as the tactical beach sandal and tactical toe-socks. "Really the only kind of boots on the ground now will be sewer boots cause you know, these mess hall bathrooms can get a little backed up at dinner time on a forward operating base of 30,000 troops and support personnel". The sandals in particular are expected to go over well with foot-weary troops with sweaty feet. "Just look how comfortable and relaxed I look" said the spokesman while wiggling his toes in the wide yet comfortable composite sole Desert Intruder Tactical Beach Sandals.

Military planners had consulted Gucci, Prada and other chic European manufacturers before finally settling on US domestic manufacturer Nike. "The Obama administration finally decided Nike's mission and the stated objectives of government are in synch on this one: JUST DO IT."

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Edward...

Snowshoes?

9-11 was a panda job.

Tiaras

and ermine muffs.

There is nothing strange about having a bar of soap in your right pocket, it's just what's happening.

Amazing. You used my 4 favourite words in one sentence.

I'm still disappointed this isn't 'top-linked.' You have a true flair for dastardly satire. In the same spirit, have you heard that DHS has ordered 450,000 pink bullets for Breast Cancer Awareness Month? It's not true, but I wouldn't put anything past them at this point...

9-11 was a panda job.

I'm lagging

You and Bill3 have emerged as top competitors. My energy is still screwed up from jail. Been writing about 25% of pre-incarceration rates. I think that disinfectant they splash on every surface got up my nose and into my brain.

There is nothing strange about having a bar of soap in your right pocket, it's just what's happening.

The British ain't coming! The British ain't coming!


"No! The Italians are coming!" ... This is going to be so much more fun..."

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

I want one of those...

And the cars aren't too shabby either.

9-11 was a panda job.

Shame on

both you and Mark.

If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.

Just think, if we deploy our

Just think, if we deploy our troops in Syria, the desert fatigues they're always wearing inappropriately in urban settings and at press conferences will finally look reasonable. That alone is worth... well, not much.

Good stuff, Smudge.

Will there be boots on ships

Will there be boots on ships at sea and on planes in the air?

As long as they aren't touching dry land.

It's all very complex. At certain times all you can wear is ballet slippers.

There is nothing strange about having a bar of soap in your right pocket, it's just what's happening.

Sneakers, high heels, or even strappy sandals would be great

camouflage in Syria. from http://caravanalsham.com

Feel free to keep wearing any of the following:

tight jeans,
pants or skirts that come to the knees or lower,
short sleeved shirts that completely cover your shoulders or come halfway down your upper arm,
high heels,
strappy sandals,
jewelry, make-up, perfume, leather boots - in fact, Syrian girls generally wear more of all of these than Americans!

http://caravanalsham.com/index.php?p=1_19

9-11 was a panda job.

It goes on...

...pointers for men on how to dress:

4. Many Syrian men will use shoe polish every day before leaving the house, even on gym shoes. If your shoes are dirty, which they will become from the dusty streets of Damascus, try to keep them somewhat clean or they’ll think you work with camels for a living.
...

9-11 was a panda job.

I dread to think of what hellish

new weaponry is going to be unleashed on the citizens of Syria.
With the shut down of the "embassies", I'm positive that there is some new war Gizzmo that has to be tried out, much like nuking Japan.

Let's not forget 'Project X' from Atlas Shrugged...

...and the doctor who sold his soul...

9-11 was a panda job.

Funny but not far

from the truth. Everybody hopefully has read the fine print on "no boots on the ground". That is a euphemism for regular infantry soldiers. There will be Special Forces, Rangers, Green Berets, Seals etc etc, if they are not already in Syria. Multiple reports about our military in Jordan already exists.

Dr. Mike Vasovski
South Carolina Campaign Chairman, Ron Paul 2012
The SINGLE vote in the SC delegation for RP, GOP Convention, Tampa, FL
2010 Candidate, US Congress SC-03
Past Chairman, Aiken, SC County Tea Party

LittleWing's picture

drmike, there have been covert ops there since 2011

at least. Here is an article I posted about it that is very informative:

Death Squads in Iraq and Syria-The History of America’s Death Squads
http://www.dailypaul.com/297015/terrorism-with-a-human-face-...

If Wars Can Be Started by Lies, They Can Be Stopped By Truth.

ConstitutionHugger's picture

Thanks I needed that

a little humor helps me deal with the insanity of it all

What's next?

Baggy BDU's and 'hip hugger' web gear?