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Phones Are 'Out', Real Life Is 'In' - Formerly Obsessed 12 Year-Olds Explain Why The Internet Is Lame

Following months of debate, the conclusion is in: Real life is better than the internet

Daily News Reports
September 17, 2013

In an apparent backlash against stereotypes portraying them as a bunch of '21-by-34-millimeter screen-obsessed hooligans,' the youth of America have produced a public-service announcement that describes why staring at your stupid cellphone screen all day like an idiot is, in fact, lame.

"I've only had a smartphone for a couple of months" said a young skateboard riding man who by law had to remain anonymous "but I don't go around staring at it every day. I'd rather be out riding, or checking out the ladies."

When asked about their feelings on such websites as youtube and facebook, there was one commonly-agreed upon view:


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Good good.

Last thing we need a is an out of shape police force or army. Make sure they join all the sports teams in school, I hear it does wonders for individualism. Especially if you're gay, or a woman in this day and age.

Why the dichotomy of heavy electronic use = lazy simpletons. The lazy simpletons are being raised by the people that "played outside their whole lives".(And yet are the most obese generation in history, go figure) Even Thomas Jefferson was quoted as saying "I couldn't live without books". By that perspective he was the 18th century version of an intellectual sloth.

I wonder how much Einstien, Hubble, Crick, and Hoyle played outside. I would personally rather a fat but smart kid. I would worry more he/she worry about success than even playing outside. Most of the time I spent outside as kid was doing things I shouldn't of been doing. Growing up in the downtown of a big city made it pretty scary place anyways. Looking back I would of done my future self a big favor and just kept my head to the books.

Here's your shift Michael.

It was the kids!

Defeat the panda-industrial complex

I am dusk icon. anagram me.

I'm with the lamers.


Defeat the panda-industrial complex

I am dusk icon. anagram me.


Whatever, like

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."-- Albert Einstein