Government threatens to go back home and move in with mother, nation still doesn't care.Submitted by Smudge Pot on Sun, 09/29/2013 - 19:33
The United States Government today announced plans to "go back home and move back in with mother" if the nation continues to ignore it. This comes after recent threats that began with shutting down and then progressed to moving to San Fransciso to "wear flowers in it's hair" and more recently to run away with a teenage starlet.
Psychologists are quick to point out a nation that increasingly lacks self confidence. "This type of over-dependent behavior is charactaristic of a nation with low self-esteem" said relational behavioral specialist Richard Zipperty of MIT. "Nations in this condition really need to develop more self-oriented objectives and focus on their independent future" said Zipperty.
This seems to jibe with other behavior health specialists at the American Mixologist's Association who's spokesperson Brenda Fiende said "trust me honey, this government needs to move on and get a life".
Others point to deeper rooted causes. Child psychologist Eileen Rikowitz explains that over-indulgent parents often raise over-reliant governments. "I think this government grew up fairly sheltered but it's used to getting what it wants" explained Rikowitz. "I think it grew up with some unrealistic expectations, it feels it's needs are unmet and it's acting out of frustration, seeking attention".
All of the experts consulted for this article emphasized the need to monitor Government in case it begins to show self-destructive or violent behavioral patters. "Governments are capable of lashing out to get attention if they feel pushed to that extreme" said Rikowitz.
Still, beyond a handful of experts and academics, the nation's people and business seems to continue without interruption or even, in fact, anybody seeming to notice. "Yeah whatever" snarled a surly cab driver when asked for comment. An ad executive said "it just not punching through the clutter". An effeminate young male waiter rolled his eyes and said "please, like I care". The only person showing real interest was a divorce attorney who said "it doesn't matter what they're fighting over, I always win".