34 votes

Ted Cruz: "I am not a Muppet"

I'm no expert but I am overwhelmed by the similarities in these images, which force me to ask,

is Ted Cruz actually former Muppet Show cast member Sam The Eagle, hiding behind a new identity?

Submitted for your aproofal:

Gaping maw? Check.

Disarming glare? Check.

Cynical appeal to nationalism for political gain? check.

Again, I'm no expert, and I've just started digging into the photographic evidence. But to my eyes it's clear:

Ted Cruz is a Muppet.

The only remaining question is -

Who's hand is up his butt? Who is the man behind the muppet?

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What the hell?

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egapele's picture

Saw this when it was first posted and

wanted to give the guy a chance. Today your post has a new meaning for me.

He is a muppet & a puppet and, given more power, will be much worse.

Meet the man inside the Nicholas Cage costume...


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O_O -hadn't a clue

Whoa, that's more elaborate than it is creepy!
I mean, my sister dated him for a few months.

Did you ever see him?

In the costume, I mean?

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I wouldn't have recognized him...

not in costume.

Makes me wonder about the severity of my sister's drinking.

Thanks for your contribution to the kerfluffle.

The man of mystery is a true... mystery.

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Michael Nystrom's picture

Very muppal

I had no idea Neil Young was so muppal.

He's the man.

Muppal will take flight

Muppal is like bonkers brilliant.

He's like 'don't ask me...'

'I have no idea what's going on...'

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You need 3 things to bring it down:

1) donors - anyone with money can and will get behind a "raw patriotism" in Texas if it means they have even the smallest link to Washington
2) for punks to like you - there's something wholesome in the eyes of other punks about someone that just does whatever he wants
3) enough buzz-words to make it appear to the new tea-party-in-a-box types that's he's the one to follow

The man has done every single strategic thing possible to ascend over the largest "less-gov" groups (in Texas and elsewhere) for maximum pull away from "the man"; yeah he's no Ron Paul (but Dr. Paul wasn't trying to trick people into thinking he was harmless. We all knew he was bad to the bone.)

Ted Cruz is doing this for Rand; taking the blunt of the blow b/c he knows he (Ted) can't be President. He's keeping the "tea party" close by, winning new followers who are "limited gov constitutionalists" and when the time comes, he'll give his endorsement. Rand knows the "tea party" is touchy, extreme, reactionary, so when the Presidential race starts, he may need to veer off and appeal to a more libertarian crowd, which speaking from experience, the new age "tea party" (not the old school Ron Paul style) doesn't accept. Such as:

Getting the state out of marriage
Legalizing certain drugs

Ted Cruz is doing all he can to keep these types, "his type" followers loyal, so he can speak to them about voting for Rand when the time comes. It's called strategy. It's a really good one.

I can't really argue with any of that, but I would add...

as long as Cruz keeps on grinning that grin and wearing those soft blue shirts and floppy azure ties, the people will follow...

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Extra Muppal

If all the recent tea party events were translated into pictures not based on what it looks like, but how each person's brain actually thinks....this surely would be it.

- Substitute pan flute for loud country song.

- Someone wants to be the leader in a pirate-wizard kind of way.

- Most of the older ladies dress very conservatively in various shades of the same t-shirt, but have pretty juvenile things to say.

- The guys aren't really paying attention to the wizard-leader and how ridiculous what he's doing actually is... and are easily distracted by hollering from the audience

Totally Muppal on all levels.

Are you trying to say all Muppets are short?

Such statements may be construed as Muppist.

Besides, tall or short, we've got each other:


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Michael Nystrom's picture

The Pied Piper of the Republican Party

Merriam Webster definitions of the Pied Piper:

- a charismatic person who attracts followers
- one that offers strong but delusive enticement
- a leader who makes irresponsible promises

To which I might add, a muppet who wears blue neckties.

He's the man.

I truly do hope Cruz is real, or has had a true conversion...

and I'm really not a distrusting person over-all. I have to remind myself to be cautious all the time. I liked Justin Amash right away and still do, though the contrarian voice in my head is now saying maybe start digging up information on him? But Ron Paul himself endorsed him and that's good enough for me, right?

Oh, brother. At least he doesn't dress like a Muppet. I know that for sure.

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No mention of a flute? I'm surprised....

Of course for Ted Cruz, it's more like a dog whistle isn't it.

(see above, that dog whistle translates into a loud sappy country song for his followers. When they hear it, they grab their finger paints, whip up some signs and start following...)

Oh, so he looks like an

Oh, so he looks like an American Eagle, huh?

He should take that as the highest compliment.

It always bugged me when the people I knew would say Ron Paul sounded like Mr. Magoo. They wouldn't even listen past the sound of his voice. This is like that. How superficial.

1. As long as people insist

1. As long as people insist on physical perfection of those who run for President you're not going to get anyone elected.

2. Isn't this racist? Yes. You are criticizing family attributes, which are in fact racial attributes.

I bet the physical appearance of any race could be be painted as butt ugly if others so choose to do so unfairly ignoring the person's personality, knowledge, and merits, so watch out what comes back to hit you. Are those snub nosed pale red headed Irish guys go pretty? Not at all. If you talk to them they might be really interesting, nice, and big hearted though.

ok thanks

ok thanks for your opinion

Not racist. Muppist.

I have nothing against people who wear so many pale sky blue neckties:

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OK. I'll concede

the bad light blue tie argument. His constantly wearing it does look like something left over from a bad wedding party outfit. Too funny. Where is his Mary Kay consultant at? It definitely doesn't work with his skin color. He must think it's some sort of luck charm.

Michael Nystrom's picture


Damn it. I knew it.

He's the man.

Muppal: (adj) of or pertaining to Muppets. ex: Ted Cruz has

very Muppal cheekbones...


...and all those light blue neckties...

oops - wrong pic - it's the one right below it:

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Couldn't he really be a mixed-race human-muppet

half-breed? What would that be called?

What would the Founders do?

I'd like to know - I think I may be part muppet...

I have a Muppet-ish nose, and my last name has an invisible silent 'w' that everybody pronounces even though it is't there. Plus all my lineage is from Eastern Europe so there's a very good chance someone intermixed at some point. Also I have that rare combination of business and entertainment savvy which has helped the Muppet race to dominate the entertainment and finance industries, as well as most of the congress and senate through MUPPAC.

Also I'm cheap but mainly because I have no money.

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That's pretty damn funny.

That's pretty damn funny.

LOL! Consider it a strength!

(I might have a little in me, too; one leg is longer than the other, and I walk funny....) ; )

What would the Founders do?

why be rude to TC?

The guy has been a force for stopping bad crap in DC for like a year now. Why does this site always shit on our allies? "Oh noes! he's not Ron Paul's clone!! Attack!!!!"