Forlorn Nation PinesSubmitted by Chris Conspiraski on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 03:48
Demonstrating incalculable remorse, the nation lay prostate in supplication tuesday in a plea for its dearly departed lover, the United States Federal Government, to honor its beg of entreaty and pay heed to its shattered heart.
"Come back to us, we beggest thou!" cried the nation of 316 million, 2013 pop. est.
"Return to mine heart! Returnest thou mine! Unto the Gods, here us ye saints! It's been a week already. Please come back - we need you!"
The nation was then cast into a pallor of immitigable weepings and consternation.