Desperate Republicans Declare that Less Is MoreSubmitted by Ed Ucation on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 16:57
Wide disillusionment with Republicans and dropping poll numbers have forced Republicans back to the drawing board to come up with a way forward into the next election. In a move some political strategists are calling brilliant, Republican members of Congress have issued a statement that "Less" now means "More."
"For years, our constituents have complained that we are elected to reduce the size of government and then we end up increasing the size of government. Well, we have finally figured out the way to give them no reason to complain," one Republican leader explained.
"This idea started with Ryan's budget plan. It didn't cut any spending, but everyone was attacking him for being a radical budget cutter. That's when it hit me. Why don't we use this to our advantage?" explained another.
However, not everyone is convinced. A dissenting freshman Republican Congressman from Idaho voiced his concerns: "I think this will send a mixed message. Will my voters get confused when I promise them less taxes and then ask them to send me less money? Won't this result in fewer campaign contributions?"
The Chairman of the newly formed Republican Less Government Caucus has proposed a solution. "Less means more ONLY when we are talking about cutting spending or reigning in government excesses. We plan on passing a law to make this clear. The key language is "talking about," so everything stays consistent. This allows us to placate naive citizens while kowtowing to special interests. It's a win-win." The Chairman concluded with "Under no circumstances should anyone judge us based on our actions. Why would you want to do that? Just sit back and listen. What could be easier?"