Obama Still Deciding Whether to Vacation in Senegal or Bomb ItSubmitted by chris cudnoski on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 01:27
White House Underpress-Secretary Rich Blarney announced today that President Barack Obama has still not decided whether he would take his family on vacation in the Western-African nation of Senegal, or bomb it.
"Senegal has a wide variety of ethnic groups and, as in most West African countries, several languages are widely spoken. This means that enemy insurgents could easily blend in with the surrounding population. It also means that it's a great place to go to see a lot of different cultures, which is good for my girls to see" the president said in a prepared statement.
"The Senegalese landscape consists mainly of the rolling sandy plains of the western Sahel which rise to foothills in the southeast. Excellent terrain for isolated pockets of terrorist combatants to hide in, but also a great place for a 9-day safari with the kids."
Mentioning The Gambia, which Senegal geographically surrounds, the statement adds "The Gambia, like the U.S., is a sovereign, peaceful nation, whose people share the same rights as any of us do as God's children. They are a lovely people and a lovely country - we vacationed there three years ago. I would really hope they don't get hit by a stray bomb."
Preparations have been made for either scenario. Air Force One has been fully stocked and staffed for a 10 day family getaway, and AFRICOM soldiers have been put on alert to ready for mobilization within 12 hours at all points effective monday at 0600 hours in case the vacation plans fall through.
"Planning a vacation is always rough" concludes the statement, "especially when I'm the only man in a house with three women! It gets crazy."