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Academy Awards Acquires Struggling Emmy's Franchises

With television viewership drooping, the sad and haphazard Emmy Award Foundation finally sold its remaining interests to the Academy Award Academy for Film Award Awarding.

Actors who acted surprised at this decision were widely speculated to have been merely acting as if they weren't acting surprised.

It is expected that most Emmy award-winning shows will be awarded a posthumous 'Acad-Emmy' honourable mention.

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This isn't that bad...

I mean, it's not that terrible.

I saw the best minds of my generation, destroyed by pandas starving hysterical naked

-Allen Ginsberg