NSA Claims Responsibility For All UFOsSubmitted by BILL3 on Mon, 10/28/2013 - 01:34
Following the revelations of Edward Snowden about the extensive reach of the NSA, a few intrepid researchers at the Institute for Pointing Laser Pointers at Aircraft intrepidly brought down a flying saucer in Peru last week, with a laser pointer.
When they approached the craft they found that it was full of gizmos and gadgets, but no green or even grey men were spotted.
Hackers from countries with an actual future were hired for pennies on the dollar to crack the outdated encryption code, and reveal that this individual craft, and all other unidentified craft, are actually part of the NSA's extensive spying program.
Once this information hit the internet, the Obama administration determined they could only fight on so many fronts, and could not successfully serve two masters while trying to be the masters themselves. They opted to protect Obamacare and let the UFO thing go.
Some bureaucrat was trotted out from the NSA to finally admit there aren't any god damn aliens and that these flying craft are just US spy drones and deal with it, "you pathetic swine," in the words of NSA director John Templeton.
Well, now we can move on and be content that we're alone in the universe, and the Obama administration stated it is "content that spying on Americans is redundant, since they have no balls anyway," and that the government should invest more in methods to track real threats like the TreuBig Radio Show.
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