3 votes

What do you think of this arrest for inappropriate sexual contact and the court results?

Just curious. What do DPers think of this? And the outcome?


(supposedly untrue email urban legend)


Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22
year old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles, or at least I thought there was no one around' he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.
'Guess I was really into it, y'know?' he commented with evident

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an
approaching sheriff's car and was unaware of his audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor.

'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.'

Deputy Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence ...

'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and
then he looked me straight in the face and said:

'A pumpkin? Shit ... is it midnight already?'

The court (and the judge) could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of public intoxication, fined $10, and sent on his way.

The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as "The best come-back line ever."

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Doubt it's true

The dude would never discuss his pumpkin fetish and the cop would never discuss letting him off light.

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."-- Albert Einstein

I always wondered who and how

Pumkims were judged suitable for " chunkin ", now I'll never be right again.


Drew, by the very grace of GOD through the blood of Christ Jesus.
"there shall come after us men whom shall garner great wealth using our system, and having done so shall seek to slam the door of prosperity behind them." George Washington

Did you hear about the newly

Did you hear about the newly weds who got the K-Y Jelly mixed-up with the window glazing putty?

All of their windows panes fell out.


Good clean fun... sort of.

Good clean fun... sort of.

Good Court Ruling

Vote this comment up if you thought it was a good court ruling.

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Not Funny

Vote this comment up if you thought it was NOT funny.

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Vote this comment up if you thought it was funny.

(please do not vote down)