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Million Suspicious Butt Clench March Announced in WDC! (Adult content warning)

Smudge Pot News
Washington, DC
Nov 6 2013

A broad coalition of activist groups and advocacy organizations today announced the Million Suspicious Butt Clench March in the nation's capitol. The purpose is to protest the treatment of New Mexico resident David Eckert who was repeatedly probed by police and doctors in Deming New Mexico.

In a press release, spokespeople for the Million Suspicious Butt Clench March stated their intent to "gather at our nation's capitol, turn out backs and clench our butt cheeks in a highly suspicious manner to members of congress". A separate group would also turn and suspiciously butt-clench at the White House in a symbolic act of defiance.

"We will dare police to follow the law in every aspect, policy and protocol that they have in place" said organizer Benjamin Dover, a reference to New Mexico Police Chief Brandon Gigante's recent statement regarding invasive and internal body searches as standard police procedure.

"It's going to be a different kind of mixed crowd of supporters" said Dover. "Right now we're kind of working with those who don't want to be anally raped and those who are hoping it will happen to them right there on the spot" explained Dover. Other coalition partner spokespeople echoed similar thoughts.

"It's new and strange to be working with such a diverse crowd" said Wright Lee Dephending of the Hyper Conservative Action Front. "But we're united on the bottom line of basic rights" said Dephending. "Wait, I phrased that wrong, don't print that" he added.

"I can't believe these hot special forces types are gonna see my butt" said Gonderbe Freeling of the LBGT Rights Coalition. "But it's kind of hot" he concluded. Freeling's band Gyndyr Byndyr is scheduled to play their hit single "Stand Up And Sit On It" moments before the final act of turning and suspiciously butt clenching.

"We're still kind of defining what constitutes suspicious butt-clenching" said Dephending in a final intervew. "Just watch" said Freeling who began twerking on the conference table. "Uh chicha uh chicka uh-uh-uh" sang Freeling. "I asked you not to do this here" said Dover. Dephending's head sank slowly into his hands as he muttered "Lord give us strength".

Related story: http://www.kob.com/article/stories/S3209305.shtml?cat=12387#...

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jaseed's picture

Lots of Barney Fifes in NM?

I believe so.
On September 12(not quite two months ago), got a $76 speeding ticket near Omega on Hwy 60. State police.
38mph in a 30 zone. Nobody else on the road, daylight, good weather...I was not a hazard.

“The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time: the hand of force may destroy, but cannot disjoin them.”

– Thomas Jefferson

Tonight while leaving Walmart

I got stopped for failing to come to a complete stop at the stop sign, I believe I may have clenched, in fear of being asked to step out my vehicle. Luckily I got off with just a warning.

The first of my ancestors arrived in 1687, Indentured to serve another for 4 years, we fought in the Revolutionary war, Civil war, WW1, WW2, Korea, Vietnam, and Served during Desert Shield/Storm, Now my Family and I serve The "Revolution"

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smudge the creepy thing about

smudge the creepy thing about this article, and sad, is that the poor victim probably did butt clench. i hope he did anyway. to relax is sphincter would have been to surrender.

I trust Smudge Pot news!

henceforth and from

this day forward I refuse to wipe
they'll just have to break thru the crust, if they want some of this dudes tail- nuff said

that's what they call

a Pyrrhic victory

“The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants.” — Albert Camus

Saw this comment on Politix

Saw this comment on Politix forum. Thought it was pretty dang funny:


The Fourth Amendment of the Constitution of the United States.

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

I'd say that includes Mr. Eckert and his butt hole. "

The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. - Heinlein

Hi-ho a-probing we will goooooo!

Me next Officer, please. See? I am clenching my butt-cheeks, oh yes I am!

I heard the organizers are handing out butt trumpets

So that all participants can be heard

“The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants.” — Albert Camus

I heard they are doing a midnight candle light vigil

you don't want to know where they are putting the candles.

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

Could be dangerous! They are serving beans for dinner.


Ok, now this is funny! bump!

Ok, now this is funny! bump!

The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. - Heinlein

LOL! I knew this was you when I read the title!

Funny stuff!

Sadly, scat jokes are so not my thing

and as a humorist and critic, I have always just failed potty humor. It's cheap, it's base, it's every other word you can throw at it.

In this case I have one and only one defense:


Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

i've always struggled

with scat jokes myself. it's tough to work them in

"The two weakest arguments for any issue on the House floor are moral and constitutional"
Ron Paul