I hate churchesSubmitted by Ed Ucation on Sat, 11/09/2013 - 00:00
Churches are a problem.
Churches are like a narcotic, they hijacks the brain, and they try to redefine human sexuality.
Churches became a problem for me when I was nine, and by the grace of God, logic and independent thinking saved me at the age of sixteen.
Friends, I hate churches, and here is why.
I hate churches because they are a perversion of what God created in man and woman.
I hate churches because they exploit God made into an image made by man.
I hate churches because they objectify God into a consumable product instead of the glorious images he has made all around us.
I hate churches because I love people, particularly my friends and family.
I hate churches because they take the soul satisfying experience of feeling God's touch out in nature and turn it into a twisted soul shrinking experience of group-think.
I hate churches because they turn sons and daughters of God into slaves of an organization bent on self-aggrandizement.
I hate churches because they turn potential explorers of life's mysteries into impotent Christians.
I hate churches because they lie about the beauty of critical thinking and lead men to look to a preacher instead of a man who loves to think for himself.
I hate churches because they rob men and women of the full joy of rebellion.
I hate churches because they fracture trust between a mind and a body.
I hate churches because they teach men to think that their desires are diabolical and will lead them to hell.
I hate churches because it leads those susceptible to the awe of nature's mysteries to waste their life studying religious books, rather than trees, rivers, clouds, and bees.
I hate churches for the fear it induces in the hearts of parents everywhere that their child could stumble upon a book about evolution and get addicted.
But I love nature.
I love nature because she has always something to teach.
I love nature because she doesn't ask people to worship her in stale buildings.
I love nature because she loves sex.
I love nature because she is powerful to free church-enslaved hearts.
This is a parody of http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/i-hate-porn