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Schoolyard Disappointment As Council of Bullies Rules In Favor of Bully

A decision rendered in the schoolyard of Our Holy Father Lincoln Elementary School is being met with some controversy. Prestie Tudhoar is reporting from the scene.

"Hi, Donna. It all started yesterday, when Johnny Shippleton, age 8, got his lunch money taken by Ira Ess. Ira Ess is a licensed bully and is entitled, based on the Schoolyard Agreement, to take lunch money every third day. However, Johnny insisted that Ira took his lunch money two days in a row. Tell us what happened next, Johnny."

"Thank you, ma'am. I should explain about our Schoolyard Agreement first. There used to a lot of chaos on our schoolyard. You never knew what was going to happen as you were minding your business in the sandbox, or swinging on the swings. A bully could come at any time and pour sand down your shirt, push you off the swings, or take your stuff. It was a miserable existence for everyone. Sometimes, we were lucky and the bullies would fight each other, but most of the time, they would pick on the rest of us."

"So what did you do about it, Johnny?"

"Well, we got together with the bullies and came up with the Agreement. The strongest of the bullies formed the Council, which would protect us. In return for their protection, we would give them our lunch money each third day. It was only fair. No one expects them to protect us for free. We also agreed that they could beat on us once a week to keep their bullying skill in good shape. We wouldn't want them to go soft when we need them."

"And what about disagreements? Surely they are bound to come up."

"Yes, we all foresaw the need for resolving conflicts that would come up. That's where the Council comes in. The Council would dispense judgments on any problems that would come up with the Council. We originally wanted to form a committee of nerdy kids, but the bullies pointed out that the nerdy kids are really easy to bully around. They could easily be threatened and swayed. Therefore, the judgments had to be made by bullies."

"I see. And so when your lunch money got taken, you brought it up with the Council?"

"Naturally. I presented my case and brought forth several witnesses. Unfortunately, the Council ruled in favor of Ira. They said a day simply means 24 hours, and that Ira ended his first three day period immediately after taking my lunch money on Tuesday, and that when he took my money on Wednesday, it was his next three day period. They later amended the rules to make this interpretation part of the rules. Sure enough, when I went to check the wall where we wrote the rules, the change was there."

"That's unfortunate. But you are upset."

"Of course I am upset. They should have told us about the interpretation change before it happened."

"And the bullies have agreed to inform you of future changes in interpretation?"

"Yes, yes they have. After much campaigning and protesting in the sandbox, we have secured a victory. They have agreed to inform us of future changes in interpretation as they happen. Though they did reserve the right to interpret broadly the words 'change' and 'interpretation.' But it's still a win for us."

"So as we can see, Donna, even though the schoolyard was initially upset, the story does have a happy ending. Back to you, Donna."



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The D.C.

school yard

interesting--

bump.

it's hard to be awake; it's easier to dream--

The article mentions how weak the nerds are

I suggest that anyone with a gun is just as strong as anyone else with a gun, man woman boy or girl.

this is an elementary school

Are you suggesting that elementary school kids carry?

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind." - Khalil Gibran
"The Perfect Man has no self; the Holy Man has no merit; the Sage has no fame." - Chuang Tzu

I am suggesting

the nerds have something that makes them as strong as the bullies. Bats, knives, sticks, rocks will work. speak softly carry big stick for when speaking softly gets you beat up.

old idea

Back in the 1930s they did. My grandpa used to carry his rifle to school and leave it in the coat room of the school house till it was time to walk home. many boys did in 4th grade. No school shootings.

I guess guns were just better behaved then O.o?

"You only live free if your willing to die free."

Well done!

And you started out excellently well with "Our Holy Father Lincoln Elementary School" and the reporter Prestie Tudhoar. You do write a little like Terry Pratchett, as someone mentioned, but my money's on Larken Rose as your main inspiration.

Recommended reading: The Most Dangerous Superstition by Larken Rose

bump

I would like to hear from the minarchists and constitutionalists. How would you reign in the council of bullies?

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind." - Khalil Gibran
"The Perfect Man has no self; the Holy Man has no merit; the Sage has no fame." - Chuang Tzu

Mean people suck.

I'm a bit of both.
Mean people suck.
I'd start whopping bullies @$$'s till they took up a new trade.

"You only live free if your willing to die free."

Do communities form churches to turn bullies from the dark side

What are other options?

Free includes debt-free!

separation of police and courts

The men with the guns cannot be the same group as the men who resolve conflicts.

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind." - Khalil Gibran
"The Perfect Man has no self; the Holy Man has no merit; the Sage has no fame." - Chuang Tzu

^ This

I agree with.

Privatization, I do not.

"What if the American people learn the truth" - Ron Paul

But, if the police and the courts are both

part of the government, then they are on the same team.

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind." - Khalil Gibran
"The Perfect Man has no self; the Holy Man has no merit; the Sage has no fame." - Chuang Tzu

Are you a philosophy

major? lol

It comes down to local, jury null, and Knowing Your Rights so that you will win.

There is no magic can of beans :-)

"What if the American people learn the truth" - Ron Paul

What good are rights

if the police ignore them & the courts continously wittle them down till they're impotent.

Ron Swanson

You Still Have Those Rights

Rights that are constitutional, are acquired by existing. Nobody gives them or can take them away. All that can be done is to forcefully suppress an individual's ability to assert his constitutional rights. When the police and courts are corrupt and no longer serving and protecting the rights of individuals, it is up to the individuals to rely on themselves to defend their own rights, or suffer the tyranny.

So, to answer your question, those rights are only as good as your own willingness to use them.

^ what he said.

^ what he said.

"You only live free if your willing to die free."

Ok, you guys win.

I hereby revoke everybody's rights because they are meaningless and do not work.

To: Socialist dictators, see how easy that was? Come to PAF if you need anything else :-)

"What if the American people learn the truth" - Ron Paul

Molan Labe

Molan Labe

"You only live free if your willing to die free."

yup

It's simple made easy by a system which instills defeatism and cowardice in the hearts and minds of its subjects. The problem ultimately comes down to fighting the public Department of Indoctrination and educating people about what their rights really are and what is wrong with the system that they currently, passively support.

Haha

Nice!

Read Discworld much?

Sounds just like what Lord Vetinari would do.

The necessity of being governed.

The local bullies will explain.

Free includes debt-free!

updated

Changed the ending a little bit.

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind." - Khalil Gibran
"The Perfect Man has no self; the Holy Man has no merit; the Sage has no fame." - Chuang Tzu