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Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid

Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid


4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.


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13 Questions.....

"Deep in the darkest hour of a very heavy week,

Three Earthmen did confront me, and I could hardly speak....."


"Beyond the blackened skyline, beyond the smoky rain, dreams never turned to ashes up until.........
...Everything CHANGED !!

Awwww shucks!!!

Just when I thought I was mentally strong you come along and pop my bubble with this.. I'll have to settle for hard headed

Lucky 13....If You Dare!!!??

...dare to lead a positive life, that is.
Enjoyed this, and I might add, have subscribed to many of these tenets...although sometimes I may have "missed the mark" on some of them.
BTW: "Missing the mark" was the earlier (from Greek translation) definition of sin...so, I consider that I am only a man, and not a "saint" and resolve to do better.
Here's a few more;
* Faith and Fear cannot live in the same house.
* Serenity Prayer:
"God grant me the Serenity, to accept the things I cannot change,
the Courage to do so, and the Wisdom to know the difference."
* Give Time, Time.....practice patience...and meditate.
* On the "Spice-Rack of Life", variety is next to Oregano.(LOL!)
* KISS: Keep it Simple, Stupid.
* The Golden Rule: treat others as you'd like to be treated.
* "Take it Easy"....not be lazy, but take it easy, smell the flowers
and appreciate the good in this world.
And finally, from our good friend Mike Nystrom:
"If You See the Buddha on the Road?...Kill Him"....this was posted at one time on the DP, and it warrants further research by all who might misunderstand the real meaning...another trip down the proverbial "rabbit hole", but then again...that's why we are here, isn't it?
Thanks for the post....all commentary encouraged.
And a happy holiday to you and all DPers everywhere.

"Beyond the blackened skyline, beyond the smoky rain, dreams never turned to ashes up until.........
...Everything CHANGED !!

Michael Nystrom's picture

Bump - thank you

jrd3820's picture

Dwelling on the past

I do that way too often. People pleasing.... I do that way too often.

I think I have the rest down though. I might be mentally fit, maybe not strong, but fit.

For example I just expect my luggage to get lost now. That way when I get off a plane and my luggage is there it is a pleasant surprise.

Look Back on the Past..

...just don't "Stare"....

Merely a suggestion for ya.
I kinda liked your "lost luggage" example;
I'd identify with that by my own practice of:
"Don't set yourself up for a Let-down"...helps keep things real for me.

"Beyond the blackened skyline, beyond the smoky rain, dreams never turned to ashes up until.........
...Everything CHANGED !!

Great Post Chris

Well done.


ecorob's picture

I prefer NOT to split hairs...

and just say that I LIKE this article.

its 'cos I owe ya, my young friend...
Rockin' the FREE world in Tennessee since 1957!
9/11 Truth.

Have to side with Happinessisnowhere on this one

#4 is subjective. Others may tell you that you are wasting time and energy trying to change something that cannot be changed. But its the truly mentally strong who ignore such thinking and change the world.

Just because the majority does not believe somethimng can be changed, doesn't mean it can't. The majority of Parliament did not believe the slave trade could be ended in England, either. It took the lifetime of Wilberforce to end it, but end it he did.

"Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern." ~~C.S. Lewis
Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15

I think the examples given show the types of

situations they're talking about. In a traffic jam, people can fret, curse, hit the wheel, honk, or exhibit other signs of anger or frustration. But none of it's going to get you to your destination any sooner. It wouldn't even matter if it was an ongoing problem and you spearheaded a successful campaign to resolve the issue. It *still* would've been a waste of energy to sit in traffic and act like the maniacs you see - not only working themselves into a tithy but sometimes also making life hell for passengers.

As to lost luggage, whatever they might do afterwards, at the time, mentally strong people would take care of business: fill out needed paperwork and head to a store to buy some replacement items, making a note that, next time, essentials & a change of clothing should be kept in one's carry-on bag.

As to people, if you think you can change your mother-in-law, good luck!

There *are* some things you can't change. Re lost luggage, no yelling or crying will conjure it up! I think what you said (and I agree) is addressed by a different trait on the list: mentally strong people don't "shy away from change." As noted in the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
~ John Muir

There's always honking...


9-11 was a panda job.

I'm feeling a little sleepy


When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
~ John Muir

That guy cracks me up.

At the end of the clip, a google ad did appear, something about buying silver. But that looks like an interesting school. I imagine the gov't procures a list of those enrolled - for recruitment purposes and, well, I imagine, just to have in case it should ever come in handy.

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
~ John Muir

#14 Reading stupid self-helpish articles like this


"Alas! I believe in the virtue of birds. And it only takes a feather for me to die laughing."



9-11 was a panda job.

Stupid yore this is...

....and go fuck yourself

"Alas! I believe in the virtue of birds. And it only takes a feather for me to die laughing."

see #5


9-11 was a panda job.

Right, because nothing pleases others...

...like telling them to go fuck themselves.

O, btw, go fuck yourself.

Better yet, pile up all your self-help books (with which you plague the DP), light a match, and make like an Indian wife.

"Alas! I believe in the virtue of birds. And it only takes a feather for me to die laughing."

Sounds like you're having a bad day.

Try to visualize success and you will actualize happiness.


9-11 was a panda job.

TwelveOhOne's picture

Hi, please review this page:


I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
http://fija.org - Fully Informed Jury Association
http://jsjinc.net - Jin Shin Jyutsu (energy healing)

I take issue on a number of

I take issue on a number of items.

3. Shy Away from Change.
This assumes change is always for the better. Often it is not. Not being comfortable with changing for the sake of it isn't a sign of weakness. It often takes strength to resist change. To not follow the herd off a cliff.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control.
The title is ok, but the examples are poor. Bad traffic can be corrected and action can be taken to educate in general or drive in a manner that can smooth things out. Lost luggage can be dealt with as well by taking action to get it found. If a person's luggage gets lost and all he does is shrug and move on then it's going to wind up at the lost luggage auction. If he takes action he can very well get it back. A lot of things people think are totally out of their control are things they can influence if they make the effort. The problem is too many people think they can't fix them so they don't get fixed. the bad conditions are perpetuated. If just a small percentage of people didn't think that way these things could get fixed. What is futile if one person stands up often is not if a million people stand up. But it takes mentally strong people to stand up when it looks that way.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over.
Conflicts with:
10. Give Up After Failure.

Often people who make the same mistakes over and over are those who refuse to give up on something after failure. Sure it says to make corrections but human nature is what it is.

True dat


9-11 was a panda job.

This is a good one

I posted this somewhere a few days back. Solid list.


I've been advising friends of all 13 over the years, but this is laid out much better than I could have done.

Great Post

Great Post. We could all benefit from avoiding these 13 things... in fact, the world could benefit!

great post

thanks for this!

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."-- Albert Einstein

I like this one

Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

A lot of people need to meditate on #9

9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

9-11 was a panda job.

it depends upon how a person defines success--

not everyone has the same values as to what success is or is not.

What is a person is successful at doing something another person simply doesn't value?

Or are *we* just assuming here that success means financial wealth. There are many definitions of wealth also.

it's hard to be awake; it's easier to dream--