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"I Love Her, But..."(A collection of men's thoughts on their women.)

"I Love Her, But..."(A collection of men's thoughts on their women.)

... she has an uncanny way of standing between
me and the television screen. Bases loaded, two
strikes, three balls. The crowd goes wild, the pitch
flies, and all I can see is her butt.
--Howard, Dodge City, Kan.

... she was furious when I got up early once and
made her breakfast. Called me controlling. How
dare I decide that she would eat breakfast, let alone
what she'd have?
--Ted, Wexford, Pa.

... what's mine is hers. I buy her negligees; she
sleeps in my T-shirts. When she's cold she wears
my wool socks to bed, never her own. She steals
my half-used razors; new ones are too sharp. She
even wears my boxers. I'm tempted to switch to
briefs just to see what she'd do.
--Dave, Martha's Vineyard, Mass.

... she makes lists. Things to buy. Things to do. People
to call. If it's not on the list, it doesn't get done. Once,
to be funny, I put "sex" on the list. Mistake. Now it has
to be on the list, or it doesn't get done.
--Nick, Wheeling, W.Va.

... you can hear her eat soup from the next room.
--Bruce, Bridgewater, N.J.

... when she gets an idea in her head, there's no
stopping her. And no rest for anyone until it's done.
It's not so bad when the idea is to bake cookies, or
even to go on vacation. But when it's to build a new
house, or to get pregnant, things get pretty intense.
--Jim, Minneapolis

... my wife thinks everyone should be a vegetarian.
During meals, she asks people how they can eat
dead cows, or if they know that their pork chops
used to be smarter than their dogs.

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well...since you brought it up...

my girlfriend is a stunning beauty...but crazy as hell!

We don't discuss politics because she is a socialist. My girl believes in a utopian society where there is no money...everybody grows food and shares it with everyone else! No! She really believes this!

And as far as what women really want? Figured that out long ago.

Women want what they can't have and that is why you will never satisfy one...but good luck trying.

It's interesting that...

It's interesting that, in the title, if you were to get rid of the comma and then treat "but" as if it were "butt", it would read "I love her butt".

Then the first example would have a different feel to it (yes, I recognize the pun) with "The crowd goes wild, the pitch flies, and all I can see is her butt."

There Is This Cute Gal At Work I Call "The Honeybadger"

Every morning when she comes into work I have the coffee made and a little sweet goodie with a message attached, "Honeybadger food"

Women like a little attention and people who are willing to listen to them.

Too often women complain about how men really don't listening to them.

Most of all I find women like a man with a sense of humor of which i have no shortage of. They are always asking me why i'm always in a good mood?

I tell them that is the way I am; friendly, upbeat, positive, and happy.

I love making people laugh. I want them to be happy, even when there isn't much to be happy about these days..

egapele's picture

Remember, close your eyes

and feel the hand ...

i'm sorry you're having a tough time

...on "their" women

Monogamy is a strange thing to me. I've never felt like I have ever owned the woman I was with, even the one I've been with for over 3 years. I tell her she could sleep with another man and I wouldn't be jealous, as long as she granted me the same liberty (but with women, obviously), and if he was better than me I would step up my game so I could keep her. That's what I call the free market. I am of the opinion that many men would also agree to this arrangement, but its too taboo to approach. Monogamy is the accepted social norm and is very rarely questioned or critically analyzed. Not saying it is bad or good, I just don't believe there is "one right way" to do anything.

egapele's picture

One right way - you pick:

consistent or inconsistent ?

You can be
(1) consistently consistent
(2) consistently inconsistent
(3) inconsistently consistent
(4) inconsistently inconsistent

Choose option A - be the love of your own life.

To Quote Vonnegut -

It is almost funny that I will have to quote Kurt Vonnegut here. From Cat's Cradled - "Well, that's the way ... babies are made, in case you didn't know."

But what kid needs both a mom and dad these days, anyway? Sex is nothing but a recreational sport, another way to release endorphins, just what people do for fun. There is no purpose behind it. Kids just love it when they can say, "My mom is a piece of playground equipment. Haven't seen my dad in years!" And speaking of love, wasn't that already debunked by society?

No, I do not think monogamy is rarely questioned or critically analyzed - it is rarely respected or observed. Nobody in the West seems to understand that adults have a responsibility to act that way or to own up to the decisions they make.

See the cat? See the cradle?

Your response was only mildly condescending so thank you. I expected much worse! Every time I hear monogamy jokes it always makes me want to discuss such topics. I'm well aware of the purpose of the family structure, I just like to engage in the discussion of ideas. Have a wonderful evening!

Nice -

That was truly awesome, thanks. You do the same.

I used to Love Her


For Freedom!
The World is my country, all mankind is my brethren, to do good is my religion.

deacon's picture

is it bad

to tell whom the poster is,by the post itself? :)
thank you E,total blessing you are

If we deny truth before your very eyes,then the rest of what we have to say,is of little consequence

"and all I can see is her butt"

At my house this is a GOOD THING!

jrd3820's picture

I love him

but he seems to think I am supposed to make sense.

I love him but he has this silly idea in his head where he thinks he is not supposed to be a mind reader. He also thinks it is necessary to remind me that he is not a mind reader. I don't see why he is not taking the appropriate steps to correct this.

Cute post em.

Women are easy to figure out

I always get the last word:
"yes, dear"

“With laws shall our land be built up, but with lawlessness laid waste.”
-Njal Thorgeirsson

deacon's picture

really funny

I get the last word in our house as well

If we deny truth before your very eyes,then the rest of what we have to say,is of little consequence

makes me think of Frank Zappa's

Plastic People: "I get tired of yah honey; must be your hairspray or something..."

I do love her butt

Women are the best.

“With laws shall our land be built up, but with lawlessness laid waste.”
-Njal Thorgeirsson

egapele's picture

It is udderly disgraceful

that you didn't mention all her other parts.

She's got freckles on her but

I love her.

Ĵīɣȩ Ɖåđşŏń

"Fully half the quotations found on the internet are either mis-attributed, or outright fabrications." - Abraham Lincoln

I want to kiss her but

she won't let me.


I adore freckles

They are like little constellations splashed across her welkin skin

“With laws shall our land be built up, but with lawlessness laid waste.”
-Njal Thorgeirsson