The Problem with LibertarianismSubmitted by Sheepherder911 on Sat, 12/07/2013 - 18:04
I was walking home one evening and came upon a clearly depressed man standing at the edge of a bridge, looking like he was about to jump. I called out to him to wait, and ran over to see what was the matter.
"It's this country," he lamented. "It's falling into ruin and there's nothing I can do about it. The election was the last straw. I don't want to live on this planet anymore."
"Well cheer up," I said. "We're all in this together. Say, are you a conservative, or a libertarian?"
"A libertarian," he said.
"That's great!" I said. "See, you're not alone. Are you a free-market libertarian or a libertarian socialist?"
"Free-market libertarian," he said.
"Me too!" I said. "Paleo-libertarian or neo-libertarian?"
"Paleo-libertarian," he said.
"Hey, so am I!" I said. "Chicago or Austrian school of economics?"
"Austrian," he said.
"Me too," I said. "Hayek or Rothbardian strand?"
"Rothbardian," he said.
"Same here," I said. "Are you a consequentialist or deontological libertarian?"
"Consequentialist," he said.
So I said, "Die, statist scum!" and pushed him off the bridge.