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NSA Spys on Santa Claus: Snowden Releases List of Who Has Been Naughty and Who Has Been Nice!

General Clapper, head of the NSA, denied repeatedly while under oath and before Congress that the NSA has not spied on Santa Claus. Recently, however, Edward Snowden released further documentation that not only had the NSA been spying on Santa Claus for his lists about child behavior, but were also interested in Santa's notations about what houses left out the best snacks.
It has been reported that several of Santa's reindeer have are missing, and rumors abound about rendition. Will Rudolph's nose still glow from Guantanamo Bay Rest Spa? This reporter wants to know!

Besides the scrutiny of Santa's workshop, Mr. Snowden suggested that there are other iconic figures being observed clandestinely as well. Snowden mentioned the Easter Bunny is not, repeat not, hiding his eggs from the NSA. A spokesperson for the NSA, in an attempt at repairing their sullied reputation said "When you think no one listens, always remember, the NSA listens. To everyone and everything. Because, darn it, we care."