God In Danger of Popping Out of ExistenceSubmitted by Ed Ucation on Tue, 12/24/2013 - 14:30
Priests from the Vatican Council for Divine Research have issued an ominous warning to the peoples of the world. Based on the conclusions of the best of modern religion, an unseen danger lurks beyond the horizon of our pious lives: God could suddenly pop out of existence.
At first, the announcement was met with cheers from the United Atheist Alliance. They issued the following statement:
"We all recognize that less and less people are falling prey to the fiction of an all-powerful being responsible for the creation of everything. As the number of believers shrinks, the God egregore shrinks as well, until no one believes in God anymore. At that point, when the last believer perishes, the God egregore will pop out of existence."
However, the Unified Atheist League vehemently disagreed and issued a rebuttal:
"No. That is not what they meant. We simply can't wait that long. As Douglas Adams has shown us, the way to defeat God is to trap him in a paradox of logic about his own existence. We are compiling a database of usable paradoxes, and we have undercover agents in seminaries. They are laying in wait to unleash the paradoxes in a flurry of synchronized sermons, obliterating God with a blitzkrieg of logic."
The United Atheist Alliance and the Unified Atheist League then proceeded to argue until the arguments escalated into a war of mutual destruction.
Meanwhile, the priests continued with their warning.
"Yeah, that's not what we meant. We all agree that God created the Universe. But where did God come from? The conventional wisdom is that God is eternal. He always was. You know, what some people say about the Universe. But if He always was, then how long did it take him to create the Universe? Did God just sit around for an eternity, before the thought occurred to him that hey, let's make a world? No, God is all-powerful. Such a thought could have occurred to Him anytime He wanted. And since we all know that God is infallible, and He decided that a world would be good, such a thought would have occurred to Him immediately. But what does that mean for a being that eternally was? Clearly, God must have come into existence at some point and must have created the world almost immediately after coming into being."
The priests, who have been talking collectively as one voice, paused momentarily to let their deep insights sink in.
"So here is the problem, then. If God just came into existence at some point before creating the world, then he could just as easily pop out of existence at any point. This is what we fear. In the infinite horizon of the future, this is a logical necessity. God will pop out of existence sooner or later."
However, not all priests agreed. A dissident faction explained that they have come up with a solution to this problem with a concept called God of God.
"We posit an even more powerful entity that we call God of God. God of God created God, and God then created the world. This completely solves the problem of where God came from."
"But what about God of God? Who created God of God?" asked the other priests.
"Why God of God of God, of course. It's Gods all the way down!"