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If you ever get lost in the woods, look for a dog

Dogs align themselves in a north/south orientation when relieving themselves. Who needs a compass!

"Dogs are quite particular about where they choose to relieve themselves — not only do they defecate in direction with the north-south axis, but they also are sensitive to slight changes in the Earth’s magnetic field.

A new study published in the journal Frontiers in Zoology finds that a wide range of canines preferred to “excrete with the body being aligned along the north-south axis” under “calm magnetic field conditions.” The nearly 37 breeds of dogs studied were found to completely avoid urination or defecation along an east-west direction."


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better yet look for a way out of the woods..

what are the odds your going to see a dog when you are lost in the woods? If you do see a dog then you should knock on the owners door and ask to use the phone rather then waiting to see what side of the tree the dog urinates on.

you would have to be pretty hungry to eat a....

oops, never mind, i thought this was an Obama story.

saw this on yt yesterday, very interesting.

Official Daily Paul BTC address: 16oZXSGAcDrSbZeBnSu84w5UWwbLtZsBms
Rand Paul 2016

While looking for the dog

Is there a theory on which way to go if I step on a deposit with my right or left shoe?

If you go into the woods...

If you go into the woods for whatever reason, bring along a deck of cards. That way, if you get lost, you can sit down and start playing solitaire. Within almost no time at all, someone will show up to help.

Freedom is my Worship Word!

If you know the latitude and time of year.

.. You should have no problem finding north based off the sunrise or sunset. If you know the time of day, you should be able to find north based off the sun. If you have a watch, point the hour hand at the sun and the 12 points north. If the sun is down, you should be able to find the North Star.

My dog poops east-west all the time. That sounds unreliable and unnecessary. You can know north from the sun or the stars.

"Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito."

bigmikedude's picture

Mine's broken

He craps in a circle. Either that or I'm at the north pole.

Zero Gravity...

Your freakin' Elephant is even upside down...

fireant's picture

If you need a dog to figure out north...

...you have no business being in the woods in the first place.

Undo what Wilson did

This wisdom is still passed down via enlightened

dog-priests who still dwell at Giza & the Pyramid of Zoser...

...passed on to the canine multitudes who make pilgrimages to these ancient observatories...

...if these days often for less spiritual reasons.

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
~ John Muir

I was kinda depressed today

I was kinda depressed today until I read this post and the hilarious comments! Now I am ... S M I L I N G!!!!

Thanks to all of you for making my day brighter!

If my need to be RIGHT is greater than my desire for TRUTH, then I will not recognize it when it arrives ~ Libertybelle

My Dog Talks to Me When No One is Around. Here is What He Said

“What is it with you uprights? You believe we canines have some special ability to
navigate across hill and dale and know where we are at all times? You don’t think we get lost in the woods too? We do. It’s just that we don’t have our heads clouded with all the distractions of life like you. Our lives are simple: we look for food, a comfortable place to sleep, a toilet, a place to run around and females in heat. That’s it, nothing more.”

“We learned a long time ago that it is better to observe and listen than to speak. We decided not to express ourselves with our tongues when we saw how you never shut up, always yapping about this and that. Geez, it’s enough to give a dog a headache.”

“After we learned how you like stroke and pet us we figured hey what the heck, why not take advantage of it? So we pretend to respond to your simple commands like, ‘roll over, sit up, stay,’ and other baloney like that. It gets us everything we want.”

“You know what’s really hilarious? When it’s dark out or in the freezing winter and we have to go take a crap outside; that’s the best. Your females nag you to, ‘walk the dog’. So you get all mad and huffy but you do what you’re told. Do you think our females order us around like yours do? No sirree, not in this dog’s life.”

“So if you’re lost in the woods, it’s getting dark, your cold, hungry, and thinking about life: remember this one thing. Dogs don’t pay taxes, don’t have to work for basic necessities and don’t do anything we don’t like. We just have to lick your face, wag our tail and pretend to pay attention when you speak. We’ve been doing this for thousands of years and it works. Unlike you wrong-headed bipeds trying to change the world, we know the simple things in life give the greatest satisfaction. Why can’t you figure that out?”

A Dog’s Diary8:00 am – Dog

A Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:40 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:30 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

A Cat’s Diary

Day 972 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Evil People!!

Day 973 of my captivity.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Day 974 of my captivity.
Two workmen came to the house today. As they rested after strengthening the interior of my confines, I sat on one, gently hooking my claws into their clothing. My plan was to cling on until they left, thus escape with them under the cover of their departure. The other workman went outside first and came back smelling strangely after something called a “cigarette”. Curses! I’d picked the wrong one! I heard they are coming back again in another week. I will repeat my escape attempt then.

Day 975 of my captivity.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now……

DAY 976 of my captivity.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not working according to plan ...

6:00 pm - An animal post! My favorite thing!

6:00 pm - An animal post! My favorite thing!

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
~ John Muir

More importantly ...

Do they piss into the wind?


It was worth posting this

just for the laughs I got reading the responses. Thanks.

I tried this tonight

My dog shat facing east. If she keeps doing this, I am going to report her for suspicious activity.

“Although it was the middle of winter, I finally realized that, within me, summer was inextinguishable.” — Albert Camus


I tried and tried to convince the folks at UCLA that if they wanted guest lecturers and students to arrive on time to class, that it did not help to give out maps unless they also put signs on the buildings that could be read from a distance.

What good does it do you to know where something is on a map if you don't have any references to where you are? That campus is HUGE and as a pedestrian walking long distances, it makes no sense to have to go up to a building and inside it to try and find some clue as to what building it is, or walk all around it until you locate the small sign posted outside some other entrance, not readable until you walk up to it.

So, likewise, what good does it do to know North from West, if you are lost AND have no map, AND the trees and streams aren't labeled?

What do you think? http://consequeries.com/

my dog shits in all different

my dog shits in all different directions

Mine too

After reading this post just a short time ago she's already pissed in the east/west direction. But perhaps, she's just special :>)


it's just dogs out peeing in the woods because I took my 5 out and they peed facing all different directions.. and what exactly does "nearly 37" breeds of dogs mean?? Why not just say 36?

Daughter of 1776 American Revolutionists

deacon's picture

pekinese and chihuahua

and the like,they make up a 13 and a 1/4...respectively
Hope I have been of service :)

If we deny truth before your very eyes,then the rest of what we have to say,is of little consequence

I have a long haired

I have a long haired Chiweenie.

I had to look chiweeie up

cute cute~ One of my shih tzu is the extremely petite, around 4 pounds and people have asked me if she's a Shihuahua~

Daughter of 1776 American Revolutionists

Mine actually looks more like

Mine actually looks more like an ugly type of Papillon. But she's not as smart. She's got a face only a mother could love.


those are the cutest ones =)

Daughter of 1776 American Revolutionists

deacon's picture

I had to LOL

Outloud.....even, over that name,then I looked them up
certainly are cute,And a first for me :)

If we deny truth before your very eyes,then the rest of what we have to say,is of little consequence

They are complete brats.

They are complete brats. They are nick named "chile dogs".

No one

call BS yet? ....BS

Can we guess this was funded by a government grant.

Your tax dollars at work no doubt. I guess you could say they were pissed away.

"Bend over and grab your ankles" should be etched in stone at the entrance to every government building and every government office.