3 votes

mycleanpc.com

A few months ago, I accepted what at first appeared to be a very simple job: remove a virus from someone's computer. Given the fact that I owned a PC repair shop (and I still do) and had over 15 years of experience, I was confident that I could complete the job in a timely manner without any complications along the way. Little did I know, however, that accepting this job would spiral my life into a nightmarish den of anguish and uncertainty.

First, I tried booting up the PC. When Windows finally loaded, it became apparent that this was no ordinary virus; it was a merciless monstrosity of a virus that would stop at nothing to ruin your entire life. However, despite this, I bravely pressed on and attempted to combat the virus. "I absolutely will not let a mere virus scare me off!" I thought.

After numerous unsuccessful attempts at removing the virus and after exhausting every single option to combat viruses that I had, I finally realized that the situation was absolutely devoid of hope. This was a virus more fearsome than any other, and it was simply impossible for someone with my abilities (skilled as I was) to fight against it alone. Even reinstalling the operating system completely didn't help. I quickly sank into a pit of depression and despair.

Being that I was extremely stressed due to my numerous failures, I began verbally abusing my wife and kids a few days after I received the job. This situation soon worsened when I began resorting to physical abuse in order to relieve some of my anger. Eventually, after not being able to withstand my daughter's constant moans and whines any longer, I locked her in the basement in order to retain an ounce of my sanity.

That's when I had a stroke of genius: "If I can't fight this nightmare alone, then why don't I call in the World's Greatest Minds?" I immediately contacted the World's Greatest Minds and pleaded that they examine the computer. To my delight, they accepted the proposal, collected the computer, and began their experiments.

After weeks of trial and error, numerous experiments, and many failures, the World's Greatest Minds had at last reached a conclusion. They contacted me by phone and told me that this, being no ordinary virus, called for extreme measures. They quite vehemently recommended the use of MyCleanPC to combat the virus and destroy its very existence once and for all. "MyCleanPC will completely eradicate the virus without a single problem," they enthusiastically told me.

As soon as I got the computer back from the World's Greatest Minds, I installed MyCleanPC, ran a free scan, and then sat back and watched in awe as it totally eliminated the very same virus that I had spent weeks trying to get rid of in mere seconds! MyCleanPC had accomplished a feat that nothing else in existence could have accomplished! I was positively astonished by MyCleanPC's miraculous performance.

What was my daughter's response, you ask? "MyCleanPC is outstanding! My dad's client's computer is running faster than ever! MyCleanPC came through with flying colours where no one else could! I recommend that you use MyCleanPC right this minuteness to fix all of your problems!"

MyCleanPC totally cleaned up my client's system, and increased his speed! As a computer repair professional, I highly recommend that you use MyCleanPC to fix all of your problems. That's not all: The World's Greatest Minds also recommends MyCleanPC for all of your computer repair needs. By using MyCleanPC, you're ensuring that your gigabits will be running faster than ever, that all viruses will vanish off of your computer in seconds, and that you'll be overclocking with the rest of us!

Even if you're not having any visible problems with your computer, I still wholeheartedly recommend that you use MyCleanPC. After all, you could have a dormant/silent virus on your system. Additionally, MyCleanPC will speed up all of your gigabits to levels you could never imagine! You'll be overclocking in no time thanks to MyCleanPC!

MyCleanPC: For a Cleaner, Safer PC.



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if all spam was this entertaining, then I could get behind it.

i like how it gets really dark. 2 thumbs up.

I'm confused on the point of this post...

I'm confused on the point of this post... Humor???? Advertisement???

But just in case any DPers somehow read this and decide they want to try MyCleanPC, please do your homework and understand that no online site is actually going to fix any serious issues on your PC. There are numerous sites and videos displaying how such websites are mere scams.

If you actually do have a virus, the only 100% certain way to guarantee its removal (assuming you're running Windows) is a fresh install. Also consider using a web browser that allows blocking of Javascript, Flash, trackers, etc by default to significantly reduce the likelihood of future infections.

I'm still mad at you John Jay !

For that abomination of a treaty you got from King George ! Why did you give into his demands for this maritime and that maritime, it is total hogwash...didn't we win the blasted war!!!?
You just wait and see John Jay, two hundred years into this nations future some fellows going to point at your signature on that treaty and say " here's proof we didn't win our revolution "!

And what's a PC ?

Respectfully,
Samuel Ward, president tem pro, first contental congress. /////////

God bless
Stēkō pharrēsia Iēsous

Drew, by the very grace of GOD through the blood of Christ Jesus.
"there shall come after us men whom shall garner great wealth using our system, and having done so shall seek to slam the door of prosperity behind them." George Washington

I had the same problem but

I had the same problem but Kanywest fixed it.

LOL!

LOL!

Impressive testimonial

But how do we know your daughter's recommendation is from her own, free will?

Defend Liberty!

I tried this product a few

I tried this product a few years ago. I then accessed my home banking site. All my money was stolen. But that's not the worst of it. The MyCleanPC trojan spread from my PC to the bank's mainframe - then via inter-bank payments to the world stock markets. It completely wrecked the economy. The big secret they are not telling us is that the financial slump was caused by MyCleanPC

No, I wasn't going to tell anyone this

but I caused it. I asked an executive at GE, "in all of GE, what is sacred?" He formed a 10-person panel to make a list and posted it everywhere. I was being snarky, but the damage was done. Years later, I read a Business Insider article blaming the corporate rigidness on the buzzword "sacred" and somehow tracing the economic downturn to corporate rigidness. So, it was me, sorry about that. Everything was going fine before I came along.

Defend Liberty!