-14 votes

New Constitution Propositioned by Obama

It comes from a highly placed and credible source, who cannot be disclosed, that Obama is thinking of sticking around for another term or two. The following rough draft was transcribed word for word from a handwritten draft reputedly found in the Oval Office after hours. The document is beginning to be circulated on the internet. I suggest you pass it on to those who may not be aware of this breaking news. FYI, the handwriting. content, and substantial other evidence strongly suggests it is real. Sources verify many of these concepts have been actively discussed among the President's inner circle. I find the prospect disturbing. Draw your own conclusions:

I the Obama, of the People's Democratic Republic of Obama, in order to create a more perfect Obama, establish injustice, domestic intraquility, provide for my defense, promote my general welfare, and secure money you have for myslef and my cronies, because you didn't build that, do ordain this constitution for the People's Democratic Republic of Obama.
Article I:
There shall be a congress whose members shall be selected by me. The congress shall be in session when I declare it to be in session, and not in session when I say so. It shall pass all laws as I instruct it. Should congress pass a law and I sign it, I may change that law or enforce or not enforce that law as I desire. Should congress fail to act, I may pass a law by executive order and change, enforce, or not enforce such orders as I desire.
Article II:
There shall be a president, and I shall be him. The president shall have such powers and priviledges and he so desires.
Article III:
There shall be a Supreme Court, whose members shall be appointed by me. They can pronounce anything they like, as I shall ignore everything they do if it pleases me.
Bill of My Rights:
1. I shall respect no religion, and prohibit the free exercise thereof as I desire. I may abridge the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
2. A well regulated Militia, being a threat to my security and power, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be tolerated.
3. No Soldier shall, in time of peace or war be quartered in any house if the criticize or think ill of me.
4. The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall be violated as I deisre, and no Warrants shall need be issued,
5. Any person may be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; and shall have private property taken for my use, without just compensation, as I deem, because you didn't build that.
6. In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall not enjoy the right to a speedy or public trial, and may be deatined indefinitely without trial if I deem them to be a terrorist or other malcontent.
7. In suits at common law, I may deem my agencies and representatives, and I myself, immune from all actions and ruling, nor due we need to respond to supeona or court order of any kind.
8. Excessive bail shall required if I deem it so, as well as excessive fines imposed, and cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
9. The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to apply to any person other than myself.
10. The powers not delegated to me, nor prohibited by me, are reserved to me.

Additional Amendments

XXVIII. If any citizen has a problem with any of this, that citizen is a racist and is to be ignored. If any citizen acts to prevent any of this, that citizen will be found guilty in Federal court of a hate crime.



Trending on the Web

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

I am no troll! You guys can't appreciate a joke???!! Really???

I read this thing last night and I was rolling on the floor laughing!

I thought I'd post it here with the preface to make the joke, hopefully, funnier. The bad grammar and typos just added to the piece.

I expected RAVE reviews on this thing, lots of praise for its cleverness, with, hopefully, some clever suggestions for re-writes of the other amendments.

I sure didn't expect the reception I got! B-O-R-I-N-G !!

Are you guys REALLY so dull that you can't appreciate a good joke? Really so dim that you can't discern an obviously Onionesque post from troll bait?

Look at my post record! I was backing Ron Paul before, I bet, the vast majority of you even knew his name!

I'm MASSIVELY disappointed in you guys. Not hurt in the least ... but massively disappointed. Oh well..."Pearls before swine..." You guys need an upgrade in something.

What else can I say ... sheesh. This reception is SUCH a disappointment.

Bill of Rights /Amendment X: "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."

Do you need a politician or judge to "interpret" those 28

Or is the joke on me?

I thought the "down" votes were going to bury my spoof -- which I think is just brilliant PRECISELY because it hits so close to reality; Obama really DOES appear to think he is a quasi-king and there is no rule of law ... only rule by Obama. He's like something out of a comic book ... except he's currently infecting reality.

But I just looked at the front page of most currently active threads and this one has made the list! I don't think I've EVER gotten such a "warm" response. :-/

So maybe the joke is on me?

Bill of Rights /Amendment X: "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."

Do you need a politician or judge to "interpret" those 28

Deleted This Post!!

You Are A Troll From The Obama Administration... How Did You Get Through Michael Nystrom' s SPAM Filters?

Lol. He got through Nystrom

Lol. He got through Nystrom the same way that the 9/11 truther got through super bowl security, he acted like he belonged and told everyone he was late to work.

Funny

That is exactly how I got into concerts for free and walked backstage all the time back in the day lol

Not to mention all the VIP areas in clubs.

Once you learn that trick, you can't unlearn it:

Just act like you've been there all day already and you belong there.

If it cannot be precisely sourced...

... and the 'ping is secretive', then it is what it is. And that is:

1. Childish lore from internet serfs, I would be ashamed to pass on;

or...

2. Disinformation

In either case it is wasting the precious time needed to finish strategy, and carry out the battles throughout the several States, battles so calculated as to restore a sound constitutional Congress!

I call foul. This claim has been floating the net for years... the real question is, are they so desperate as to engage in such shallow strategy to defeat the 'Paul' forces, or have the once 'Paul' forces become so shallow and childish as to be deemed susceptible to the Orwellian, Hegelian dialectic.