15 votes

You Know You're A Stoner When

You wait for the stop sign to turn green.




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When you can talk

When you can talk about something you did 30 years ago but you can't remember which way the pipe is going.

When Food Gives You the "Smokies"

When Food Gives You the "Smokies"

You Know You're A Stoner When

you win a bunch of Olympic gold medals.

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and then you do a bong hit

in a room full of people and let someone snap a pic of you and lose multi million dollar advertising contracts.

and then go on to be

the most decorated Olympian of all time, with a total of 22 medals. Phelps also holds the all-time records for Olympic gold medals (18, double the second highest record holders), Olympic gold medals in individual events (11), and Olympic medals in individual events for a male (13). In winning eight gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Games, Phelps took the record for the most first-place finishes at any single Olympic Games. Five of those victories were in individual events, tying the single Games record. In the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, Phelps won four golds and two silver medals, making him the most successful athlete of the Games for the third Olympics in a row. fucking stoners, right
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Phelps

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Excellent job

But i'm sure he's kicking himself in the a$$ for screwing up and losing out on tens of millions in contracts.

You know you're a stoner when you have money down on your next

sack.

I saw the best minds of my generation, destroyed by pandas starving hysterical naked

-Allen Ginsberg

Don't know if people do this anymore, but

you give somebody a shotgun with a metal bowl

Wherever you go..

You always find a new connect.

The slogan press on has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.

- Calvin Coolidge

when you call your friends and tell them you have not left the

apartment yet because you cannot find your phone.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Friedrich Nietzsche

when you can't figure out which end to light

and you think that's funny.

when you meet someone who doesn't get high and you're like

what?

I saw the best minds of my generation, destroyed by pandas starving hysterical naked

-Allen Ginsberg

When you wake up at noon :)

When you wake up at noon
..............................................................................................................................................
naked on top of the barn with a bong in your hand and your first thought is
................................................................................................................ "wheres my lighter?"

"You only live free if your willing to die free."

when

you are two blocks away from the house you've lived in for the past five years, but you're not really sure where you are and feel lost and miles away from home.

when you start woundering

when did everyone become stoners?

His name is Edward Snowden

What is Capitalism?
http://youtu.be/yNF09pUPypw

When you clean your bong or

When you clean your bong or pipe.. It's therapeutic

The slogan press on has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.

- Calvin Coolidge

and

stinky

and round and long and

opaque...

I saw the best minds of my generation, destroyed by pandas starving hysterical naked

-Allen Ginsberg

When you light the filter

on that after the smoke smoke.

When you lose something

When you lose something and you look in every room of the house, only to find it in your pocket.

"Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito."

or in your hand!!

.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Friedrich Nietzsche

or on top of your

or on top of your head.

Glasses

or in the

refridgerator

In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.

yeah, i always like to keep

yeah, i always like to keep my reading glasses fresh

You Know You're A Stoner When

you become president.
choomchoom mother fucker choomchoom

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"What was I talking about?"



Back in the 70's, (yes kids the 1970's!) I read a couple of books on drugs.
One, "Psychedelic Baby Reaches Puberty", was about LSD-25.
The other, "A Child's Garden of Grass", a primer for pot smoking... <(((((((((((((#~ ~~
I figured I'd learn before I burn so to speak...

I remember one particular part of A Child's Garden of Grass that was funny and sure enough true!

So this guy is pretty high and is telling his friend a story.
"Yeah, so there I was in the grocery store when I see this really hot chick and I'm about to pull the old drop the mustard jar on the floor trick when...when uh...um...What was I talking about?!?"
And if your friend is high, he won't remember either!!!

These books are still available.

Exercise Liberty!


America Rising.
The Constitution Stands.

"That the pen is mightier than the sword would be proven false; if I should take my sword and cut off the hand that holds the pen" - American Nomad

Totally Read

Child's Garden of Grass multiple times in HS. Straight and stoned. In fact, I made a book report out of in one of my senior classes, which IIRC, was a religion / theology class.

It was the author's philosophy expounded in one of the last chapters - the Epilogue? regarding the right of the individual to choose to put whatever they want into their body, to the point even of choosing to do himself harm, which became my introduction to the NAP and libertarian thought. It's stuck with me ever since.

A child's garden...


http://youtu.be/ql9RfjlUROE

I saw the best minds of my generation, destroyed by pandas starving hysterical naked

-Allen Ginsberg

When you argue with someone on the DP

for days only to realize you are both arguing the same point.