H&R Block Cancels 'Get Your Billion Back America' - Funds Sent to UkraineSubmitted by Chris Cacciatorski on Wed, 03/05/2014 - 21:04
KIEV, Ukraine — In a demonstration of support for Ukraine’s fledgling government and a new swipe at American taxpayers, Secretary of State John Kerry visited Kiev on Tuesday with an offer of $1 billion in an American loan guarantee and pledges of technical assistance.
Despite already having a debt of $17,470 billion and unfunded liabilities amounting to at least another $30,000 billion dollars, the U.S. government was able to find the $1 billion for Ukraine after seeing an ad for the H&R Block billion dollar-back promotion during an episode of the hit CBS sitcom, 'How I Met Your Mother.'
"When you think about it, $1 billion really isn't that much money anyway" stated assistant secretary Russell 'Rusty' Duffflinger "it's only, like, $3.25 per American. I'm sure nobody will even notice it missing - especially considering how much peace and democracy this money will enable us to spread throughout Ukrania and the surrounding regional area."