32 votes

Obama calls for sanctions, possible military strike on Venice, "all options on the table".

03/18/2014
SPN, Washington DC.

In a continuance of present policy regarding the Ukrane, President Obama today announced that "we can bomb anybody and if this trend of separatism continues we will".

"All over the world people are just deciding for themselves what country they want to be in and that's just not the way the world works" said president Obama. "Developments in Venice are particularly troubling to us and we need to send a clear message: all options are on the table" said Obama. Accordingly, the White House has ordered all new formal table service, the centerpiece of which is a dazzling array of stemware of famed Venetian glass and crystal.

The many benefits to the USA are expected to include a new interest in Renaissance arts.

"Let's see base plates, dinner plates, salad plates, b and b plates, salt service, fish knifes, full silver, we even got the ramakins. There" said president Obama. "Now all the options are on the table. They don't make anything else we want do they?" asked Obama. An aid then whispered something in the president's ear which caused the president to break out into a broad grin and say "heck yeah, a Boccaccio in the pool room. Make it happen."

Sanctions against Venice are already underway said one perplexed White House staffer. "It's a strong move, Venice is still part of Italy and it's not clear how war or even sanctions against Italy are gonna wash with G7 and NATO" said the staffer. "But you know how it is, this guy gets an idea in his head and well, whatever, we're at war with a nation that doesn't presently exist and hasn't for hundreds of years" said the staffer.

You've seen the Russian military in the Ukrane now see what our brave troops would face in Venice.

The Venetian navy, once the scourge of other nations, has been mobilized.

Venice is reported to have advanced airforce weaponry.

The Venetian army is a bit rusty according to one volunteer. "Last time we fought a war was against Napoleon" he said.

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Look how sinister that woman

Look how sinister that woman on the Gondola is. Are these even humans?

It looks like a gondola

but those are multi-vector attack broom launchers mounted in the bows.

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

Yeah and those Bat Fliers give me the willies!

I bet they swoop at you like flying monkeys!

Democrats have no balls

Democrats are like frightened little chlldren hiding behind their "positivity"
Obama is more gay than RuPaul.
Kerry has balls the size of bb's : you would need a microscope just to locate the tiny little shriveled . . .
Eric Holder can't even hold them 'cuz they're so tiny ...
America is now the laughingstock of the world...
Diplomacy has been reduced to throwing childish tantrums . .

here is a li'l message to gov.pukes :::

GTFO of my life.

the recalls & impeachments will continue until morale improves

Funny

Arinchew.

Defeat the panda-industrial complex

I am dusk icon. anagram me.

Obama should teach Putin how to be a real Man

Well, who is the strongest nation in the world and who can do whatever she wants to do: clearly not the impoverished Russia but our great country America! So, how it is possible that they (the Russians) just went ahead and annexed Crimea and maybe the whole Ukraine (next week)? Are we here to stand and just watch? Who is the virtuoso political player in the world - Putin? Our president is also a Man and WE definitely CAN DO IT! Instead of standing and complaining or playing with some funny "sanctions" on few individual, our best strategy is to show to Putin the full power of our empire - yes, we can do it too! Our president should immediately proceed to implement an imminent annexation of Canada (clearly Mexico is out of question!). Show those Russians how to do it right! I guess, we will need to make some renaming too - Quebec should just be the State of North Louisiana and British Columbia ... well maybe call it Washington's Columbia. I also have mixed feelings about Regina - anybody has a good idea how we should call it? I am sure that this is the best (and the safest economically) solution to the present political crises that will reinstall our greatness and glory for the next 1000 years. :D

(Please do not take it seriously - or maybe you should)

Remember: Canadians are also Americans (can we tolerate their inhumane tax abuse?) Let's bring them home - like it should be in 1783.

P.S. I have made the same comment elsewhere - please do not close my account! I am not a snitch.

The basic problem is that one believes that everything is real, and thus everything is treated as such.
---Kalu Rinpoche

Scottish Independence

I support the Obama administration and his Western allies will protest and impose economic sanctions should the Scots vote for independence in September.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_independence_referend...

Correction

suppose, not support

I heard they are talking about beheading William Wallace again

Guess nobody told them that's kind of a one-shot deal.

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

The title

didn't faze me. So often our leaders threaten violence so...it sounded like another day in the USA.

I would have thought this were true had I not opened the thread!

xoxo,
Mrs_GRB

Dear smudge;

Sir,
I represent the consortium to disseminate DiVinci drawings, plans, facsimiles, and according hodge podge .

Our records indicate that you have only remitted one third of the require remittance of " a thrice spoken NEEE ! ", please remitt the two you neglected post haste, lest we send the Gnights of the oblong credenza to deal with thee most fouly, or sum such.

Cordially, we thank you Harry crutch.

Head Kaniggit; French Foghorn ligation.
And Centenial dredging commission for the Crimean River and Bildebridge Hoveritt Committee.

Alfred E. Neumann

Drew, by the very grace of GOD through the blood of Christ Jesus.
"there shall come after us men whom shall garner great wealth using our system, and having done so shall seek to slam the door of prosperity behind them." George Washington

Neee and neee again!

Well concluded.

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

Its FRANCOIS HOLLANDE that Venice needs to worry about!!!

Its FRANCOIS HOLLANDE that Venice needs to worry about! On 23 August 1866, in the Treaty of Prague, the Emperor of Austria transferred Venice to the Emperor of the French Napoleon III, who in a separate treaty, legally transferred Venice to King Victor Emmanuel of Italy.

THEREfore, if Venice secedes from Italy, by law it AUTOMATICALLY must be annexed to France! And Francois Hollande is ready for it! Oh yes, he's making the ADRIATIC PIVOT, releasing La Grande Armee from Mali and the Central African Republic to swiftly seize the San Marco Square and brutally guillotin any treacherous secessionists woh dare resist!

Vive La France! Vive l'Empereur Francois I!!! Et mort a Venese!

"Cowards & idiots can come along for the ride but they gotta sit in the back seat!"

Made My Day, Smudge...

..Thanks.

"Beyond the blackened skyline, beyond the smoky rain, dreams never turned to ashes up until.........
...Everything CHANGED !!

thats funny

This however, sounds more like the gop approach to diplomacy under cheney, oops! I mean bush.

"But you know how it is, this guy gets an idea in his head and well, whatever, we're at war with a nation that doesn't presently exist and hasn't for hundreds of years" said the staffer.

Jackson County Georgia

War is an instrument entirely inefficient toward redressing wrong; and multiplies, instead of indemnifying losses.
Thomas Jefferson

Northern California and Northwestern Colorado.etc.

Central planners exclaim! "Curses, foiled again!"

Free includes debt-free!

Too Funny

Very good, I certainly needed the laugh. Thanks.

It is important that independent minded Americans start to analyze what is happening on many levels inside the central government in Washington. The people must be encouraged to think for themselves instead of absorbing the propaganda that is spewed from the idiot box in everyone's living room.

Humor is one way to accomplish exposing the deviousness, the corruption, the self-serving demagoguery that comes from the mouths of the plutocrats in power.

Let's continue to lampoon the hell out of them.

Bring out yer dead,

Bring out yer dead, clank!
Bring out yer dead, clank!

Southern Agrarian