31 votes

RIP Grandpa

I wish I would have known you. I have memories when I was a child, fishing off the pier with you and watching the the dolphins swim. That was many years ago and but a faint memory...or a dream. I wish I could go back to those days. I wish I could talk to you and learn more about who you were. I know you loved Frank Sinatra. I know you loved your Thunderbird with T tops. I know you loved your Seagrams. I know after Grandma died you were very lonely. I wish I would have been there for you. I feel I missed out on so many memories growing up without a relationship with my grandparents. I remember seeing all my friends with their grandparents and feeling an emptiness. I'll bet you would have been a wonderful grandpa though! Some day perhaps...I will meet you where the sun disappears into horizon. Someday we will meet again on that pier and fish, and laugh, and tell stories.

Rest in piece Grandpa for now you are truly free.

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None of this really matters. Life is too short. A Christmas card once a year is not enough. Build relationships with your loved ones. Let them know you love them.

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simple love


Both of my grandfathers are

Both of my grandfathers are still alive and both are now over 90. When I was younger, I used to go over to see one set of grandparents all the time(they lived pretty close but are still a city over, the others live a couple hours away) I still go visit probably maybe once a month. Having a full time job now makes for less trips.

To climb the mountain, you must believe you can.

sorry for your loss

writing something (like you did), or a song, draw a picture or just set aside a special time to think about him is all very good for you, and will help healing.

hey, but what a cool dude! is that him the photo? bow tie, pencil thin mustache, cigar, suit, ring, watch and that bottle of seagrams. love it all!

That is him! A 2nd generation

That is him! A 2nd generation Italian man from Brooklyn, NY.

My condolences for the loss

My condolences for the loss of your grandfather. RIP.


I'm a grandpa X 3

And their parents are too busy to come 500 miles to see me.
So I am fine with it.
If it should turn out that as the grandchildren get older -- and we have the opportunity to have close relationships great.

I had one set of grandparents live with us when I was a kid.
And I saw my other set every week.

It's like everything else.
Relationships are something people need to work at.
Being genuinely interested and involved in a kid's life doesn't always happen.

And the other extreme is the 'religion' of 'family'.
Where things are done out of guilt and obligation -- that was alot of of what I experienced.

I was lucky. I got a little piece of real relationship with the grandfather who lived with us. We did stuff together. He taught me things.

But having been the foster parent to hundreds of kids and worked as a teacher, I've learned you don't always click with everyone. And some kids just don't want to hang out with you.
So instead of being bummed out or offended you just invest in kids you click with no matter if they are 'family' or not.
My kids found friends in other adults as they grew.

And my kids have all turned out fine. No losers.

I also notice my kids don't come to me for advice or guidance. They have no clue the breadth and depth of my life experiences.

But they work hard at their careers and family lives.

There are actually times when I am glad I live far away. So I'm not visiting out of a sense of duty and obligation. Being taken for granted like most grandparents.

I can live my life. Instead of being 'scheduled' just because I'm grandpa.

It's not how I thought it would be. And I've even considered writing a book for them. In case one day they come to that moment when they wish they had gotten to know me better.

I'm just thankful that my kids are not dependent on me like so many kids I see today. They're good parents too.

And that is enough for me. I did my job well.

Sounds like you grew up in an Italian American family,

like I was and so many others of our generation. It makes me sad to know the simple joys the next generations missed out on.

For you, Barracuda_Trader, and for all who were raised like we were: http://youtu.be/ZrkOwTKoaLs

“It is the food which you furnish to your mind that determines the whole character of your life.”
―Emmet Fox

Not Italian

but I liked that video.

I'm a third generation Bohunk Cadillac (Slavic Catholic).

I have Slavs and half Slavic in my family, too.

Does being Catholic make them Slavic Catholics or is more like the Slavic Catholic churches I see every now and then? They have some gorgeous religious pieces!

“It is the food which you furnish to your mind that determines the whole character of your life.”
―Emmet Fox

Hmmm .... not sure

My childhood church was us and the Mexican immigrants (1960's Central Texas)

I'm Italian! If you can't

I'm Italian! If you can't tell by the picture.

Did you watch the video in my reply above?

That will help you to know your grandfather. I'm guessing he would have been like one of the parents of the kids running around and that the grandparents spoken about in the video would have been like his parents (your great grandparents).

Are you able to go back to the pier or is it too far away from where you live now?

“It is the food which you furnish to your mind that determines the whole character of your life.”
―Emmet Fox

I am trying to get out there

I am trying to get out there for the service. All my other relatives that I only knew as a child will be there. I'm not certain which pier it was but I will fin out. I have pictures of it.

I will be sure to watch the video. Sounds really interesting.

By any chance,

is that pier in New Jersey? Wherever it is, what would it take for you to get back there to go fishing in the warm weather?

“It is the food which you furnish to your mind that determines the whole character of your life.”
―Emmet Fox

It's in Florida. It doesn't

It's in Florida. It doesn't take anything but time to get there. I have airline connections and can fly free. I've have a million opportunities to go visit him but was always too busy. So stupid.

deacon's picture

The grand design

of your life wasn't caused by you,this was planned in advance,and it is meant
to keep you so busy,so stressed and away from any and all who could help with life
You know all this info we read here is all part of that plan,and it works well.

If we deny truth before your very eyes,then the rest of what we have to say,is of little consequence

Trust me. That attitude is typical of your generation and

I don't think you are as responsible for that as you think you are. The destruction of family values has been in the works for many years. Your generation's separation from the family is a result of those subtle breakdown techniques used in the media and just about everywhere you found yourself when growing up.

Your post shows your heart. It is a good one. Like LittleWing wrote, don't beat yourself up over it. Get over it and LEARN from what you are now experiencing.

What I wanted to suggest to you is to wait until the warmer weather and make time for a trip to that pier, alone or with your children, if you have any yet. Just a fishing trip for a day. Quiet time. A time to just relax and enjoy. It will be during that time you will sense your grandfather with you, if even for a brief moment. I'd bet on that.

“It is the food which you furnish to your mind that determines the whole character of your life.”
―Emmet Fox

LittleWing's picture

Don't Beat Yourself Up

too bad. A hard life lesson learned. When you go to the service, find out all you can about your Grampa, then make a promise to him and yourself to take your kids fishing to that pier one day and you tell them all about him.

~ Peace and Healing

If Wars Can Be Started by Lies, They Can Be Stopped By Truth.

Thank you. Just doing some

Thank you. Just doing some self reflecting.

I hope you'll write the book.

For your children and/or for their children. :)

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
~ John Muir

RIP your good grandpa

I never really knew either of mine because my parents brought us from TX to kalifornia.

Daughter of 1776 American Revolutionists

RIP. I lost my gpa almost a

RIP. I lost my gpa almost a year ago, but our relationship was kind of the opposite of yours. My dad wasn't around, and he raised me like I was his son, in fact, he treated me better than he treated his own son.

Psychedelics really helped me understand/appreciate our relationship, and the divinity that exists within real love, the love he shared with me, among other things. They also unlocked a vivid stream of real memories from my childhood that I had long forgotten. It was a very spiritual and moving process. It helped a great deal. If you are interested, do your research and contact me.

Sincere sympathy.

You haven't lost your grandfather. He is watching over you and guiding you, whether you choose to believe that or not. In the stillness, you will feel his presence.

“It is the food which you furnish to your mind that determines the whole character of your life.”
―Emmet Fox


...to what Nonna says. I am very sorry for your loss; but have every confidence that it is only temporary and that all that is in the Father's hands is never truly lost. All will be found again, more itself than it ever was before. But it's still rough in the meantime. Love and peace to you and your family.

LittleWing's picture

"In the stillness, you will feel his presence"

Beautiful, Nona, and yes, I know this to be so true.

If Wars Can Be Started by Lies, They Can Be Stopped By Truth.

God I wish I would have known

God I wish I would have known him.

LittleWing's picture

I'm sorry for your loss

and feelings of pain and regret, but you now honor his memory by learning a very important lesson. We are only on this earth a short time, love and be there for those close to you while you can.

If Wars Can Be Started by Lies, They Can Be Stopped By Truth.

Thank you for your kind

Thank you for your kind words.