4 votes

Bantu Tribesman Uses IBM Global Uplink Network Modem to Crush Nut

...According to Ndeti, of the modem’s many powerful features, most impressive was its hard plastic casing, which easily sustained several minutes of vigorous pounding against a large stone. “I put the nut on a rock, and I hit it with the modem,” Ndeti said. “The modem did not break. It is a good modem.”

Ndeti was so impressed with the modem that he purchased a new, state-of-the-art IBM workstation, complete with a PowerPC 601 microprocessor, a quad-speed internal CD-ROM drive and three 16-bit ethernet networking connectors. The tribesman has already made good use of the computer system, fashioning a gazelle trap out of its wires, a boat anchor out of the monitor and a crude but effective weapon from its mouse.

“This is a good computer,” said Ndeti, carving up a just-captured gazelle with the computer’s flat, sharp internal processing device. “I am using every part of it. I will cook this gazelle on the keyboard.”

continue reading here http://www.theonion.com/articles/bantu-tribesman-uses-ibm-gl...

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Wouldn't it be great if the

Wouldn't it be great if the Onion posts were at TheOnion.Com and not the DailyPaul. Just a thought.

"It's easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled" - Mark Twain

quite right. DP posts are tools of course - and quality as it

Exists in the mind of the reader is subjective, while also comprising objective qualities such as functioning links, sources etc.

.......

Don't feed the pandas. Ever.

or

just in the Humor section would be nice. I don't mind people posting some now and again. I like The Onion articles but if I went to their website I'd be on it for hours

Yeah the Humor section would be fine.

But also, this one is from 1996. Meaning it came out 18 years ago. More than just a little stale...

so you think it's funny to watch brown people smash nuts?

That's the most racist thing I have ever conjectured.

Don't feed the pandas. Ever.

I suppose it was a tough nut

I suppose it was a tough nut to crack.

exactly. and it is this differentiation based on qualities of a

Tool which result from and are indicative of higher levels of consciousness.

Don't feed the pandas. Ever.

I'm just wrapping up my introduction to 'Tool Theory' and the

Perception of utility across cultural lines, and I needed a solid example from America's finest news source.

Thanks Coldcutsky!

Don't feed the pandas. Ever.