11 votes

Bloomberg: Outsource US Border Patrol To Mexico

SPN
New York City
06/27/2014

Amidst news that U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents spend their days running the arriving unaccompanied alien children, or UACs, to the showers, bringing blankets to the laundry, preparing food and making trips to grocery stores, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg has proposed outsourcing this increasingly difficult role to Mexican contractors.

"We all know these people are experts in housekeeping and food service" said Mayor Bloomberg in a recent press conference. "Plus they already speak the language" he added. Bloomberg then pointed out that with NAFTA and other trade agreements, the legislative framework is all ready in place and all that's required is "a measly few billion in appropriations".

"Republicans have to get on board with this" said Bloomberg. "This is everything they want: free market solutions that will reduce cost and improve efficiency along our nation's critical Southern border" he explained.

GOP law makers were initially loathe to embrace legislation advanced by "a major libtard" in the words of one congressional staffer but warmed later as Bloomburg indicated that crucial law enforcement personnel would be freed up to "bomb Iran, chase dommestic terrorists or get your meals and do your laundry" in the words of the staffer. Republicans John McCain, Lindsey Graham and John Boener have reportedly voiced tentative support for the initiative.

****************************************************
KEEP TRUSTING SMUDGE POT NEWS! and see what you get
****************************************************



Trending on the Web

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

A word to the Smudgewise

people, at this point I'm doing a combo of these fake posts and some really real ones. These fake ones might get up some noses but try and keep with the real ones. This is a real factor in our future as much as I'm poking fun at it.

Use the laughter to prep for the reality. Everybody check the expiration dates on your canned goods and donate old stuff to people like Smudge.

The Kirkland canned roast beef from 2009 tastes like crap. Rotate your storage!

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

There's a hole in the border...

There’s a hole in the border, dear INS, dear INS,
There’s a hole in the border, dear INS a hole.

With what shall we fix it, dear DHS dear DHS,
With what shall we fix it, dear DHS with what?

We’ll build a great big fence, dear INS dear INS,
We’ll build up a big fence, dear INS a fence.

They jump over fences, dear DHS dear DHS,
They jump over fences, dear DHS they jump.

We’ll put guards with guns there, dear INS dear INS,
We’ll put guards with guns there, dear INS armed guards.

They pay off the armed guards, dear DHS dear DHS,
They pay off the armed guards, dear DHS they pay.

We’ll fly drones with cameras, dear INS dear INS,
We’ll fly drones with cameras, dear INS camera drones.

They wave at the cameras, dear DHS dear DHS,
They wave at the cameras, dear DHS say ‘queso’.
(your turn)

Defeat the panda-industrial complex

I am dusk icon. anagram me.

That's not a bucket with a hole

that's a power washer dear Enrique dear Enrique

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

Really? Nobody is gonna call me out on this blatant

cultural supremacism?

Oh wait yeah, it's SPN.

IT'S JUST JOURNALISM.

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

ecorob's picture

"We all know these people are experts in house keeping...

and food service..."

He didn't REALLY say that, did he?

its 'cos I owe ya, my young friend...
Rockin' the FREE world in Tennessee since 1957!
9/11 Truth.

It was reported by SPN

has to be true

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

I always figured we could get the Klan to do it!

They'd guard the boarder with great pride in their job. They wouldn't even ask to be paid...and you know not a single person would get through!

------------------
BC
Silence isn't always golden....sometimes it's yellow.

"The liberties of a people never were, nor ever will be, secure, when the transactions of their rulers may be concealed from them." - Patrick Henry

Better yet

we can just wait until we are part of Mexico. Then, the Mexican government-cartel thing can patrol the border. They do a good job keeping the undesirables of central America out of Mexico.