Post SecretSubmitted by Michael Nystrom on Sat, 06/28/2014 - 01:25
I have a friend. A dear friend. We don't see each other often, but it is a deep vein that binds us, beyond Ron Paul Experience. We've both done the Landmark Forum, which provided us with common concepts through which we could share. And beyond that, there is a joy of being with him.
He has to move on Monday. He's lived at home with his mom since shortly after I've met him in 2007, because of the Ron Paul stuff. But her retirement ran out, so now she has to move into state housing, and there is no room for him.
He has some form mental illness, by his own admission. He is so talented. So intelligent.
They say that I put too (many) expectations on other people, but I've always felt like that life is short and we should do whatever we can to make it last. And I don't know if I'll go alone without you... without you. And sometimes I just don't feel like giving my All. I feel like holding back. And I don't want to know what it'd be like on the other side of this chronic... chronic... chronic panic attack that I always seem to be within it's viscous grip, draining the life from me. Now why can't you see just Who I Am? I need to close the door and pull the shades before you see how weak I am. I need to hide myself behind this wall that I have made, and keep myself safe. I don't want to leave. Don't make me go. I don't wanna go. I don't wanna show what I am. I wanna keep it safe. Locked up deep inside. I don't want you to fight. Don't fight. I don't want you to fight."
I strive to see people, as opposed to just looking at them, as explained by don Juan in A Separate Reality.
I think I'm better at seeing than looking. I think all Ron Paul supporters are. People who are only familiar with form - and there are many such people - could never see the essence of Ron Paul, and were thus vexed and perplexed by his followers.
Most people are vexed and perplexed by my friend, who wrote the above. But they've never met him, or sat across from him at lunch and looked into his fair blue eyes. Or melted together with him in laughter. Or talked so deeply about what the Ron Paul Experience meant. Or saw him transform from the short, sharp hair, to long, peaceful hair in a braid that ran nearly to his butt, and back to something in between.
I see his essence. I see his perfection, in spite of all his flaws. The part about his mental illness, and that he lives with his mom, and that he's a transgender dude (honestly I don't get that, but I still respect it). He's thinking of starting to take the hormones, and I don't like that idea, but I'll support him in whatever he does, because that is what a friend does.
Friendship is complicated, but love is simple. I love him dearly.
When I see him, in the don Juan way, I see that he's on his journey, as we all are.
As he deserves respect for his journey, so do we all.