This is "conservative"...stuck on stupid.Submitted by Smudge Pot on Sun, 07/06/2014 - 11:08
Have you noticed more if not less diesel pickup trucks spewing black smoke lately?
Turns out, "rolling coal" is a new political symbol to tell Obama and "environmentalist liberal pansies" to f*ck off. And everybody else in their vicinity it seems.
If you see a Subaru with hippy stickers on the road, COAL ROLL 'EM. If you see a bunch of pretty young ladies in a convertable Jetta, honk your horn, shout SHOW YER TITS and COAL ROLL 'EM.
And you just wish I was joking.
And iffn you see one of them faggity Toy-yoty Prius thangs? You COAL ROLL THEM REAL GOOD.
Leaving a fine, greasy particulate over every living thing in that location marks your territory. Little bunnies, un-observant birds, tender flowers and kids on tricycles, just COAL ROLL 'EM ALL HAW HAW! Their parents probably voted for Obama.
What's really good is they are now getting together in Coal Rolls where they basically get in a parade and COAL ROLL THE CRAP OUT OF EVERYBODY INCLUDING EACH OTHER. Cause real men just eat carcinogens for breakfast. Right before or after pinching a deuce. All over America.
Cause nothing says I love you like asphyxiation.
Yeah baby. Eat my diesel. You know you love it.
So that's "conservative" now right? I guess it follows. We're an increasingly destructive nation and it seems a modern interpretation of freedom is the freedom to wreck the shizz out of anything we see. It don't matter what we leave behind as a planet for future generations, SCREW 'EM! It's about FREEDOM BABY. And the freedom to doff your hat and blubber like a baby during the Star Spangled Banner at baseball games and 4th of July which was supposed to commemorate a war of independence but now includes a celebration of every war since, most of which were wars of oppression and which denied freedom and self determination to people all over this world.
How ironic it's called Coal Rolling, perhaps this is a self-conscious nod to history: coal powered fleets sailed the oceans blue to support our growing global military empire and now oil does. There's a certain continuity of stupid history at work here that's as poetic as it is tragic.
Don't believe me? Fortunately they got more stupid at:
And they got more more stupid at:
And there ain't no limit to the stupid they got on youtube. But this you already knew.