Too goodSubmitted by Lacandy on Thu, 09/11/2008 - 05:42
I hate Palin posts, but had to do it. Left her name out of the title though.
"Crazy stuff, if it's true!
Kids these days can be scary.
The snoopy National Enquirer has allegedly unveiled some blockbuster stuff about VP candidate Sarah Palin's kids.
First, her Iraq-bound son, Track, is supposedly a drug addict.
We can't be too quick to dismiss the mag. They were right about John Edwards, his affair and the love child!
The Enquirer claims that for the past two years, the eldest son, Track, has supposedly been addicted to the painkiller OxyCotin — he snored it, ate it, smoked it and even injected it, said the tab.
Locals are totally selling the Palins out!
Someone who has 'partied' with Track tells the rag, "I've partied with him (Track) for years. I've seen him snort cocaine, snort and smoke OxyContin, drink booze and smoke weed."
The source also went on to say that girls would do anything for Track and he'd use his 'local celebrity' to get other guys "to get them to steal things he wanted."
Here's the scary last bit!
The snitch adds, "He finally did what a lot of troubled kids here do. You join the military."
Doesn't the military do crazy testing before you can join?!?!
Now on to teen mommy Bristol. The Enquirer 'discovered' that the now-preggers Bristol was also a handful for her parents.
Another local tattle tale revealed that back in the day, Bristol pAArtied just as hard as Track. "Bristol was a huge stoner and drinker," a snitch tells the mag. "I've seen her smoke pot and get drunk and make out with so many guys. All the guys would brag that he just made out with Bristol."
So, is Levi really the baby daddy?
The Enquirer wraps up its Bristol expose by reporting that Levi isn't too thrilled about the shotgun wedding to the GOP princess. A source tells them, "Levi got dragged out of the house to go to Minnesota. Levi realizes he's stuck being with Bristol because her mom is running for Vice President."
Can kids be implanted with some sort of GPS/spying device?
Good luck with the younger three, Sarah.
Hopefully, they won't want to follow in the footsteps of the older kids!"
[Image via Getty Images.]