How about a Daily Paul humor thread?
Things are going to get bad with the country. This is a very serious time with very serious implications for us all.
Its times like this we need to have a diversion, even if only for a moment, to remember how to laugh.
So I'd like to propose a humor thread.
Here is just one of many funny McCain videos out there. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3dy6myWxg8&NR=1
After watching that video, I wondered how McCain could have a McCain girl. This video explains it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GzTYAD6epA
Here is a video about how to get Obama elected. Caution, strong language http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgHHX9R4Qtk&feature=related
In the funny but true catagory http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frO6AC6wAc0
Post your own jokes, cartoons, videos, anything to get a laugh. They don't even need to be related to politics.
Drum roll please...
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.
The old farmer, after seeing what had happened, went over to investigate.
He then proceeded to dig a hole to bury the politicians.
A few days later the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer said he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"
The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but I didn’t believe them."
“The law cannot make a wicked person virtuous…God’s grace alone can accomplish such a thing.” Ron Paul - The Revolution
Only in America...
1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
“The law cannot make a wicked person virtuous…God’s grace alone can accomplish such a thing.” Ron Paul - The Revolution
Official Announcement:
The federal government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed!
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.
HAHA!
nice!
I invented a new investment vehicle: Dollar shorts
Send me your dollars, I'll do whatever I want with them, and you take it in the shorts!
Oops ... sorry, that's not new ....
Taxes
Be sure to read all the way to the end!
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
Put these words
upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me
to my doom..."
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax (driver's license)
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone us! age charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
COMMEN TS: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened?
I'll tell you what happened. We started taking care of everyone else, and forgot our own.
And I still have to "press 1" for English.
When I die, I want to go
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming and yelling, like his passengers in first class.
~Mikael / Peace, love, Light and unity ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stop the NWO....It's just illumi..Naughty !
Obama, Biden bloopers
Palin's gaffes get all the coverage. No fair! To balance things out see this for Obama gaffes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEIzEfm6N6Q&NR=1
and this for Biden:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXrsOe2spDE
They Walk Among Us
They Walk Among Us ... and they vote
I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again...same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64. This actually happened in Austin at MoPac Boulevard and Parmer Lane.
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"
They Walk Among Us!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"
They Walk Among Us!
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
Yep, They Walk Among Us!
They Walk Among Us, AND they reproduce, and WORST OF ALL...............they VOTE!
Humor with music
Nothing political here, just 14 old farts at a college glee club reunion concert on campus. It helps to know Rector Hall was a dorm for freshman women. Tim's "Duke of Earl" take on now-vs-the-60s gets most people laughing. Lasts about 4:30 before a second, more serious song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyEIEIq9UK8
Give a man a match, and
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Mikael / Peace, love, Light and unity ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stop the NWO....It's just illumi..Naughty !
Give a man a fish, and he shall eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Want a good laugh?
http://johnmccainforum.com/forum/index.php
check out some of the posts here..and the screen names are hilarious!!
fun bumper sticker
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
I finally got it together...
...but I forgot where I put it!
SIERRAHPBT's Posts are usually funny fiction
If you haven't had a chance to have a good laugh, just look up and track SIERRAHPBT's daily posts. Although 80% of his original posts no one every seems to comment on, his responses to other people can be down right hilarious. Especially if the topic revolves around silver. Think of a cross between - - " Grumpy Old Men " and the intellect of Gomer Pyle. Funny stuff, look it up!
These two clips are funny
You need to watch them in order for the second to make any sense.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n79jSzKA0L8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwMyYFAt13w
Watch all of both clips, the second clip gets really funny at about 35 seconds
Thank you Dr. Paul for making my act on what I already knew was right.
*May the only ones to touch your junk, be the ones you want to touch your junk.*
A baby seal walks into a club...
(That's it.)
And now a political joke:
Q: How many voters does it take to elect Obama or McCain?
A: Diebold.
ewwwww...
poor baby seal.
“The law cannot make a wicked person virtuous…God’s grace alone can accomplish such a thing.” Ron Paul - The Revolution
Kittens......
Barack Obama met a little girl who was watching some kittens
He came up to her and asked "what kind of kittens are these?"
"They are Democratic Kittens " the girl replied
. " How Cute " Obama said.
The next day McCain is walking by and asks , Hey those kittens are cute, what kind are they?
The little girl answered "They are Republican kittens."
"Oh, that's sweet." replied McCain
The next day, McCain and Obama came by at from the opposite sides of the corner and both talked to the little girl. "How are your kittens?" they asked.
"They are great" the little girl said." They are Libertarian kittens!"
"What?" they said in unison.
The little girl said, "Well, their eyes just opened!"
Libera me, let the truth break, what my fears make--Leslie Phillips
But that man should play the tyrant over God, and find Him a better man than himself, is astonishing drama indeed!~~D. Sayers
There is no difference between an authoritarian government from the right or the left...F. A.Schaeffer
If turkey invaded Iraq from the rear, would greece help ?
~Mikael / Peace, love, Light and unity ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Stop the NWO....It's just illumi..Naughty !
LOL!!!!!!
thanks!
a bump
for fun.
Prepare & Share the Message of Freedom through Positive-Peaceful-Activism.
Man has broccoli in one ear, a carrot in the other
So he goes to the doctor. Doc says "You're not eating right!"
"Dcotor, Doctor! The Invisible Man is here!"
"Tell him I can't see him right now."
That was good!
Libera me, let the truth break, what my fears make--Leslie Phillips
But that man should play the tyrant over God, and find Him a better man than himself, is astonishing drama indeed!~~D. Sayers
There is no difference between an authoritarian government from the right or the left...F. A.Schaeffer
Drink Beer!
If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago you
would have $49 left.
With Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000.
With AIG, you would have less than $15 left.
But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all
of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,
you would have $214 cash.
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink
heavily and recycle. t's called the 401-Keg.
A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found Americans drink, on the average, 22 gallons of
alcohol a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Makes You Proud To Be An American!
wow!
I knew I was doing something smart years ago as a beer drinker. If my health would only allow it...
Bureaucratium
New Element Discovered, Bureaucratium
This is an addendum to a previous news release.
A new ultra-heavy element was recently accidently synthesized by political scientists. The new element, now known officially as Bureaucrratium, is electrically neutral, having neither protons nor electrons, and thus has an atomic number of zero. However, it does have:
1 bossion
75 vice-bossions
111 assistant vice-bossions
125 associate assistant vice-bossions
It thus has an atomic mass of -312. The 312 mostly empty particles are held together by a strong, cohesive bonding force which involves the continuous exchange of clingon-like elementary particles called brownoseons.
Since it is electrically neutral, Bureacratium is chemically inert. However, it can be detected indirectly by its ability to impede nearly every action with which it comes in contact. In fact it was precisely this characteristic (and its unexpected appearance) which led the research team to its serendipitous discovery, when it found that a certain reaction which is normally exothermic and occurs in under one millisecond was observed to be endothermic, with an energy input 3500 times greater than normal, and took four days to complete.
Bureacratium is a man-made element and does not occur naturally. It apparently is formed as a by-product of necrotic organizational processes. It is found in greatest abundance in government agencies, large corporations, large non-profit organizations and academia. In extremely minute amounts it may actually serve a useful purpose in normal reactions by catalyzing the full release and exchange of energy among the reactive particles. However, in the typical growth process, Bureacratium seems to self-replicate at an alarming rate, eventually repelling, although occasionally absorbing, reactive particles. If left unchecked Bureaucratium will experience runaway growth and literally feed upon itself and absorb nearby organisms.
Unlike both naturally occurring and man-made radioactive substances which decay continuously due to their nuclear instability, Bureaucratium, although also unstable, undergoes self-replication with a normal doubling time of about nine years. This replication appears to occur as a discrete process rather than continuously, and is associated with periodic reorganizations which occur at more-or-less regular time intervals of approximately three years. At these times, vice bossions, assistant vice-bossions, and associate assistant vice-bossions exchange places, and roughly 1/6 of them generate additional Half-Secretarium particles, which soon quietly and mysteriously mutate to become Full-Secretarium particles.
Bureaucratium undergoes spontaneous chain reactions once it attains critical mass, at which point it is no longer controllable and consumes its host system along with itself. However, unlike nuclear fission and fusion reactions which are exothermic and release vast amounts of energy at criticality, Bureaucratium induces an endothermic process of fractionation and energy diffusion in which the system spins about itself in ever diminishing circles as it implodes, consuming vast amounts of energy. At this point, all productive reactions among non-Bureaucratium particles, as well as replication and mutation of Bureaucratium itself, cease as the system slowly disintegrates. Indeed, it has been found that Bureaucratium apparently cannot exist alone, having been found only in the presence of active particles from which it absorbs energy not unlike a parasite.
Research is currently underway to determine how Bureaucratium can be harnessed or controlled to prevent irreversible damage to productive host systems.
Results to date, however, are not promising.
Good stuff! Maybe you should try to ressurect NATABROBU
That's the National Association of Professional Bureaucrats, whose slogan was "When in doubt, mumble."
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,943322,00.html