Obama and Black Pride

Straight up, I have had no communication with him since I said my goodbye in August and I told him: "If you want to patch things up with your wife and me in the picture is interfering with that, then I need to disappear."

That is a copy/paste from my email.

There has been absolutely no communication since then whatsoever.

You seem to be misled as to our communication in the first place.

I was not after him. He was kind of my buddy on the forum. That was all and then we sorta became friends in the since that there was more serious life stuff than the fun joking around stuff on the forum when the crisis happened.

There was absolutely no 'lover' type of situation at all.

When you guys had your crisis at the end of June, he kind of bonded with the three of us that were there for him when he had his crisis the week after you did.

He wanted us to call. We did. I think we all called beyond that day, too. And he called us.

He knew there was gonna be no funny business. I made that clear the week before, after what happened with you, when me and him talked on the forum.

I also said it again when we talked on the phone. He knows how I feel about that kind of thing.

My ex cheated when I was married years ago. That kind of thing is not ok.

Not sure if you realize I had kind of a reputation on the forum for being a bit of a prude anyway.

At any rate, I couldn't bond with you because of the impostering thing you did on the forum and then a few days later when my head was on the chopping block because I was accused of altering your posts.

Even though Devon proved I didn't do that, you flipped out anyway. You acted like a crazy person. I couldn't pretend to be your friend like that.

I don't hate you. But I couldn't "hang out" with you. You made that impossible. Even if I did hate someone, that's not going to make me go after their husband.

I'll try not to betray any confidences of what he said, but sometimes he just vented. Sometimes we talked and I tried to help him to put perspective on things. Have a plan. Whatever. That was up to him to decide.

Sometimes he talked about the garden. Sometimes we talked about things on the forum.

Without going into detail or giving examples, I'll tell you that he scared me sometimes. I did worry about him.

I knew a couple very much like you two. Extremely like you two. I remember how it was and I saw some parallels that gave me cause for concern.

After the crisis time seemed to be over for the most part, or what I perceived to be that way, anyway, I'd still call and check up on him.

I did try to detach myself. I remember dropping a hint about him getting some other people he could talk to that would be neutral from your situation, so to speak. You probably don't need me to tell you that he needed some room to breathe.

Also I made the calls less frequent. You probably know that. Yes they happened, but not like before while he was in crisis.

If things were going to get back to normal, forum stuff was fine.

But you know what happened after that.

There seems to be a lot stuff that has been cooked up by others, and that is what I meant yesterday about missing pieces that others hold.

He and you and others have said things that I don't have a clue about as to what was going on because it was behind the scenes, off forum stuff.

You probably know exactly what I'm talking about. You probably know more than I do.

But I was just trying to be a friend. No hanky panky. Again, I made that very clear. I do not have interest in married men, nor was I trying to lure him away for him to make himself unmarried for me.

I told him I could not presume to know what was best for him. But he needed to be thinking about that kind of stuff to be able to move forward, whichever direction that took.

I was not dispensing marital advice. I lended an ear. I gave feedback. It was intended constructively.

One thing I will say is that he told me you were ok with me.

Even though you and me were not talking, I was relieved that he had some breathing room, or so I thought. You took me very much by surprise when you went on the forum and told Devon what you did.

When Devon asked me what he did, that is one reason why I never answered his question. I really thought Chief should've fielded that one, but he did not.

So that was the end of me. But the pressure was off him at the forum, so that was good, anway.

It was others who tried to make things out to be something other than what it was. It took on a life of its own.

I was not privy to all the gossip, the details, so some of the things you say, I have no idea what you are talking about.

I don't even know what you mean about him getting kicked off as moderator so I could have it. We were both moderators. We had both had our status suspended briefly and we both got it back.

Devon got mad at me on July 4th and revoked mine again, but as far as I know Chief still had his. Probably still does. Seems everyone on LLF is a mod now, or darned near everyone.

Anyway, I never meant for my part in things to be a problem for anyone at all. I meant for it to be good, not bad. I was just trying to be a friend. I have learned a lesson. He needed a guy friend instead of me. That's for sure and I should've put that forth more insistently instead of just the hint that one day.

But there was no ill intent on my part. Even though I was not your friend and you creeped me out with some of the things you did, I was not wishing disaster on you or your family, and I was not trying to lure your husband away.

He was my friend. I wished for things to be better for him, whatever direction that took.

I'm all for healing. I told you that. I wish you both well.

But if only one of you wants it, I can assure you the other one not wanting it has nothing to do with me that I'm aware of.

I wouldn't be so sure it has anything to do with another woman at all for that matter. I wouldn't be quick to jump to any conclusions like that if I were you.

Regardless, I am not someone waiting in the wings if that is what you thought.

This post turned out a lot longer than I anticipated and is kind of disorganized, but I hope it fills in some blanks and gives you the closure you are in need of.

One more thing...I don't know what you've been told, but he and I have never met. I don't know if you realized that, as everything else has been greatly exaggerated by others.

I really have no idea what is even making you or anyone else think that something is going on. You say, "I wish you could just stop." But there is nothing to stop. I'm getting real curious as to what is going on that makes you think otherwise.

Anyway, I hope these things can give you some comfort so you can move on with things in your life.