Major Discovery!!!

Element heavier than Gold discovered

New Element Discovered

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like
particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can
be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes
into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction
that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days
to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; it does not
decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of
the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In
fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a
critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since
it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

May God help us survive this growing mass before it becomes a giant
hole that sucks us all in!