Hey WWF – I’m Gonna Body Slam Your Bloody Earth Hour!!!

(For background, please see my post from last year, “Earth Hour My Foot”)

Oh no – here it is again. The World Wildlife Fund’s annual Earth Hour (2009), where “households and businesses get to turn off all non-essential lights and electrical appliances for one hour to raise awareness towards the need to take action on climate change”. Earth Hour 2009 is Saturday March 28th, from 8:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. local time for wherever you are in the world.

First, some background on the WWF. The mission of these Gaia worshipping Communist freaks is to save the rainforests, stop global warming, help drowning polar bears reach the shoreline safely and get panda bears to realize that they’re not subject to China’s one child policy. All very noble gestures, I’m sure, which probably take up most of their effort.

So then why, at the start of this decade, did the World Wildlife Fund engage in a three year court case against Vince McMahon’s World Wrestling Federation (WWF), for unfair trade practices regarding the similarity between the two organization’s initials? Like anyone’s going to mix up big brawny wrestlers with big brawny endangered great apes? When a British court ruled in favour of the World Wildlife Fund, they continued going after the World Wrestling Federation for $360 million in damages (they failed)!! Someone get me a carbon footprint calculator so I can figure out the resources they wasted on that scheme!!

Well, the WWF got their way and the World Wrestling Federation is now called World Wrestling Entertainment (a more apt name if I do say so). It’s kind of ironic how a bunch of tough guys lost out to a bunch of hippies, don’t you think?

Fast forward to last year and the WWF is up to more crazy shenanigans. This time, the media caught wind of a little excursion they were promoting:

“…a remarkable 25-day journey by luxury private jet, to some of the most astonishing places on the planet to see top wildlife, including gorillas, orangutans, rhinos, lemurs and toucans. For a price tag that starts at $64,950 per person, travellers will meet at the Ritz-Carlton in Orlando, Fla. on April 6, 2009 and then fly to remote corners of the world on a specially outfitted jet that carries just 88 passengers in business-class comfort.”

Hey, get me my carbon calculator again.

Wow, these types of greenie freakazoids are the people who are going to team up with world governments to force us to buy fluorescent light bulbs and carbon offsets, ditch our SUV’s (especially if they’re painted black), ration power by remotely turning off our televisions and air-conditioners, monitor our thermostats and force us to use only one sheet of toilet paper when going to the bathroom (seriously, I heard Sheryl Crow say that once – don’t worry, when the hyper-inflation hits, we can just use dollar notes instead). Damn their crazy hypocrisy.

And now we’re back to the annual Gaia fest that is Earth Hour, when a billion human sheep will turn off their lights and appliances and sit around a candle in their homes singing “Kum Ba Ya”, while the energy companies rue the day that the green lobby was born. Witness those same energy companies running around like headless chickens preparing for the inevitable surge in demand and strain on their equipment as everyone in the time zone turns on all their lights, monster big screen T.V.’s, barbecues and air-conditioners all at the same time - 9:30 p.m.!!

We Daily Paulers should try to be positive (glass is half-full) types though. Some good can come from this Earth Hour. I’ve been researching real hard and looky over here at the positive news I’ve found; this year, for the first time, the U.N.’s New York headquarters will be participating by turning off all their lights. Their cost savings? Well, I’ll let U.N. spokeswoman Vannina Maestracci tell you:

“Based on average energy consumption levels from 2006-08….. the world body's New York headquarters will save $102 while observing Earth Hour.”

Yep, you read that right. They’re going to be saving ‘one whole Benjamin’!!!

“Maestracci initially estimated the savings would be $81,000 before revising it to $24,300. She ultimately estimated the savings would be just $102 for the darkened hour.”

Wow, they could probably feed an Afghan village with the savings. See, positive news and no carbon calculator needed!

I seriously want to smack all these fools on their heads. How dare they tell us how to live our lives while they drive around in their luxury fleets of limousines. How dare they tell us that the carbon dioxide we expel from our lungs is a pollutant while they are poisoning the Middle East and Central Asia with depleted uranium for centuries to come. I sentence all these clowns to a jail cell, naked, with a horny panda for company.

I apologise for my rant. It’s for one day only. Tomorrow, I go back to converting people to the ideas of freedom and liberty, promoting Ron Paul, championing Austrian economics and slaying Neo-Con dragons. But just for today, help me with some constructive output and join me as we go hunting for hippies :-)