Promises for Marriage

Several years ago, I clipped this list out of my local “hillbilly” paper, the Buffalo Reflex. I only kept the list and don’t know the author. I have kept it taped to my wall over my side of the bed. ( Although the whole bed is hers, she allows me to claim part of it when in public. I believe she does this out of love for me.) It has become old, brittle, and yellowed. I needed to copy it and plan to frame the final product when you help me finish it. My ‘problem’ is this. Thanks to a wise, well educated (married fifty-five years), man, I can add to this list. “In a multitude of council, there is sound wisdom”, and with your help, we can grow this list to one hundred. With the recent post from an expectant father asking what advice we could give him, we have neglected to inform him to think of his wife and his marriage. This list is NOT in order of importance. Their ALL important. I, pick, and try to do at least two a day. It takes work! At the end of the day, read the list again, you will see where you “fell short”, and act accordingly. Although the main goal is to grow the list to one hundred “one liners”, feel free to give advice or personal stories concerning, WHAT MAKES A HAPPY MARRIAGE. That being said, here is the original list of fifty, with my additions added.

Promises for Marriage

*Start each day with a kiss
*Wear your wedding ring at all times
*Date once a week
*Accept differences
*Be polite
*Be gentle
*Give gifts
*Smile often
*Touch
*Talk about dreams
*Select a song that can be “our song.”
*Give back rubs (personal note: Very important the older you get)
*Laugh together
*Send a card for no reason
*Do what the other person wants before he or she asks.
*Listen
*Encourage
*Do it his or her way
*Know his or her needs
*Fix the other person’s breakfast
*Compliment twice a day
*Call during the day
*Slow down
*Hold hands
*Cuddle
*Ask for each other’s opinion
*Show respect
*Welcome the other person home
*Look your best
*Wink at each other
*Celebrate birthdays in a big way
*Apologize
*Forgive
*Set up a romantic getaway
*Ask, “What can I do to make you happy.”
*Be positive
*Be kind
*Be vulnerable
*Respond quickly to the other’s request
*Talk about your love
*Reminisce about your favorite times together
*Treat each other’s friends and relatives with courtesy (sometimes this means leaving the room)
*Send flowers every Valentine’s Day and anniversary
*Admit when wrong
*Be sensitive to each other’s sexual desires
*Pray for each other daily
*Watch sunsets together
*Say “I love you” frequently
*End the day with a hug
*Seek outside help when needed

My addition:

*Realize that when you got married, you were NOT in love, you were infatuated.
If after twenty years under the same roof, you are still sharing the same bed. And when you can look at each other long after your youth is gone, and see only beauty, THEN you can say and mean “I love you”
*The first fight you will have will be over money. Realize that as head of house hold, it is your responsibility to make the money, not hers. If she wants to work fine, but its her choice. Then when you have made the money, the two of you will sit down together and decide how it will be spent, who is going to spend it, and exactly how SHE is going to do it.
*The first decision you must make concerning any argument. Do I love him/her a little bit more? Or do I show him/her to the door? Once you’ve decided this question the rest of the argument becomes much easier to settle.