InsanitySubmitted by 2bfree on Wed, 04/22/2009 - 02:49
The worst thing about knowing all this, and being awake, is when you finally figure out what your friends and family members REALLY stand for. And who they really are. It can be crushing.
It's not about ideas, or political affiliations. You eventually will realize it goes much deeper than politics, or theory. I am waaaayyy past that. It is about good vs. evil. I can honestly say the closest I ever came to hate is when someone I have known for 20yrs, told me today... I am letting this stuff drive me insane.
What is insanity? Is this it? Am I insane or are they?
I had a friend tell me once that ten percent of the population is insane. Maybe, there is a monopoly overriding the minority and we are told otherwise. Because I believe it's the other way around, and that's pretty damn scary.
All because I said I believed in the freedom of choice when it comes to vaccinations. I am insane if I think that way. I am now insane because I step outside the box and showed my friend the other side. I realize that society no longer embraces people who think for themselves. Hive mentality it must be. I want out. I scream to get out. My friend is a conformist! I am now insane, because I know you can't have it both ways. I cannot be molded. I was born without flaws and I will not accept society's flaws. I damn well must break free of them. Because of all this, I am brandished insane. Now, not only am I brandished insane, I am forced to compromise with my convictions. My brain will have to betray my heart. I will have to pretend this is my friend. I'm not sure I can stomach it. I don't know what to say anymore. When I am pretending, will my friend know?
I am told time and time again, by family & friends to stop talking about this sh*t, stop worrying about it!! There is nothing you can do, just...STOP. It's so frustrating when you realize, after 20yrs of knowing someone, you really never knew them at all. It's almost a feeling of desperation mingled with despair. Especially, when you figure out some of your most loved family members love and depend on the nanny state to see them through the day. They have become like robots. They're simply programed to live in conformity and that's it, nothing more.
When you finally come to the realization you have become all alone in a room full of people you once knew. That's when it hits you like a ton of bricks. Because I bring these topics up from time to time, I remind people of the truth and push away, those people who don't want to know, the ones I care about. I could have ate nails, But, I wasn't prepared for that.
How do you go back? How do you stop? You can't. Because you don't want to live in their cages, there must be something wrong with you! I believe freedom is ingrained so deep in some, there is no way to go back. I was born a realist, and I will die one. It's one thing to fight an unknown enemy, but how do you prepare your heart for this?