Help say fare well to my father? UP-DATE 06-20-09

Tonight, there is a blood red moon from my small point of view on earth. What clouds linger in the sky seem very dark and I can ‘feel’ their weight upon my shoulders. That damn moon mostly just peers around the clouds, but at times jumps out in all it’s fury to remind me that it is there. The large trees that I left to grow when building this barn for my family to live in, have turned to hideous webs and forms of demons. Their shapes and their constant movement in the night breeze keep my mind racing to keep up, get away, or close down. Tonight is the same as the night before, and the one before that. I look for signs, that are not there. I jump at the sound of even the smallest of the night creatures. Even so, I envy their freedom and care-free life. I MUST be the most self centered, selfish person, that God ever created to walk upon this earth. I cannot begin to explain to you what I am going through. I am hard pressed to even try because I know I will fall way short of describing the turmoil inside of me at this time. I should have none, but it is an overwhelming feeling of defeat and loss. I am at a loss to describe it further. Some of you have been through this and found the strength to survive and the will to keep going. I am watching my father die, right here, right now, before my eyes and all I seem capable of thinking is that I‘ll miss him. How damn selfish can a person be? He’s dieing and I’m worried about missing him… Hospice, told us he would only live 12-24 hours….that was a week ago. This WWII vet still has a hell of a lot of fight left in him. I AM my Fathers son. He said he would die in his own home. He has always led by example. His death will be no different, he will die in his home. Tomorrow, Hospice will be bringing him a hospital bed and starting him on morphine. I thank God for them and all that they do. It was all I could do to let them do their job when they came out today to change his bandage, pajamas and give him a sponge bath. I have never heard my father yell in pain (although he has hardly any voice left) as I did today. I am 43 years old, on the 28th of this month, I will be another year older…and my Father will be dead. I AM MY FATHERS SON. It is because of his teaching, of the Constitution, and the FREEDOMS that it brings, that I Got involved with all of you fellow mal-contents. It is from HIS passion that I draw my own. I WILL LIVE FREE OR DIE. My father has never spoken abut WWII. I have been told he joined the merchant marine at 15 years of age and was the last ’military’ police man off of Bikini Atoll, before the A-bomb test. He has NEVER spoken of his rolls in the war. At this point it is moot, He never uttered a word, he never bragged. Yet there are people here who think large numbers of people can’t keep a secret? My father has. And in the mean time, there is my mother. She has been at fathers side 24 hrs a day for….ever (they are just a couple months from their 50th anniversary). I could and will, in later days, go on about my father. Right now, my main concern is for my mother. My Father is dead, he just doesn’t know it yet and every moment that I can have with him while he is in a current mind state is a blessing that no-one should have to live to see, but for those of us that do go through this, every moment, hinges on that last word. Seeking just one more word of wisdom, advice, or a “I forgive you”, or “ I love you”. And I do love you father.

To the members of the Daily Paul, you have been a family for a long time, and I ask this one request. For my mother, please send her a card letting her know how much my father promoted the return to freedom by example and educating his children. Use fictitious names, mail them from across town. (Do what you feel you must to protect your I.D.’s)
Let my mother know that her husband raised 7 freedom fighters and that she should be proud. I know it’s a small token after loosing your spouse, but little is better than nothing, and anything will be appreciated. There will be no reply’s, so please except my thanks before hand. My Fathers name is/was Donald.

Send to: Carol Carey
192 bethel road
Long lane, MO. 65590

I am, and shall always be, YOUR servant for freedom, Clay Carey

P.S. you have my Father to thank for it.

Final up date.............06-19-09

My father passed away, in his sleep, at 7:30 this morning. I thank God for ending his suffering. A better 'Fathers day' gift could not have been given. He is now with so many friends and family that for the day I think he will not be watching over us..good for him. Again, my thoughts turn to my mother... she is biult of iron and has "handled" this in a manner that very few could have. I have yet to see her cry or show emotion. I know that that time is coming. Some times the "revolution" is just not inportant. Neither is gaining public office. Some times, it is better to be human. To reliese that we are here for only a short time, That what we feel compeld to do, we must do. For give the spelling and typo's.......I can no longer see the key board. Please keep sending the cards and letters (My mother) has found much relieve in them. ( non a side note, the writting on the letters she has revcieved is damn near perfect. She has still not let any of us children read the letters. I am at a loss for words. I will delete this post by the weekend. MY father is now dead, could we honor him by helping to edecate other people?